I just can't!

I have a friend who has a daughter who also writes a blog.  I love her blog.  What I love about this girl is that she is young and loves the Lord.  What I love most is her transparency.


I always said that is the type of blog I would write so today, I will be transparent so that no one thinks I don't have struggles in my walk. 


The other day I was at the house alone.  I looked out the back yard and decided to take on weeding one of our flower beds at the corner of our yard.  As I began raking I saw a rope hanging from the tree.  I was immediately brought to tears at all the "get off that tree" "you guys are gonna fall and break a leg" "take that rope off, your going to hang yourself."


I was taken into a nostalgic time of small children now lost forever.  As I knelt to begin weeding, I prayed for our children, my family, my husband then my friends.


I prayed for my friends with the job issues for there is more than one friend that needs a job or has one but the circumstances are not good.


I prayed for my friend with health issues. I have friends with cancer, Alzheimer's, chronic illnesses and I continue to pray for them.


I prayed for my friends with prodigal children for the enemy rages and if he can't get to us, he will strike those we love dearly.


I prayed for my single friends that long to be in a relationship.  I prayed that they would find their relationship in Jesus Christ.


I prayed for my friends whose husband just walked in and said "I'm done" leaving her with house and home and small scared children wondering what just happened. 


I found that as I prayed, the tears flowed.  I knew my husband would not be home for hours and I had all day to pour myself before God.  Openly and freely I prayed and cried as worship music played in the background. 


Now for the transparency part....as I prayed and cried, I audibly said "God help me!! I want to help everyone, I want to pull them out of their situations, I want them to see you as I see you but I just can not take on everybody's burdens! "


The moment those words came out of my mouth I was grieved at what I perceived to be my own selfishness.


The story in all that is that at that moment, the moment I said "I just can't take on everybody's burdens" I clearly felt a presence and heard "You don't have to, I already have!"


I had my answer.


This Jesus who loves me so much...when he went to the cross, he did it for me, he did it for my friends, he did it for you.  God's word is very clear that we are to cast our cares and burdens on him.  [1Peter 5:7] So when I pray, I can take my cares, my burdens and my prayers to Jesus and He can!


This week, beginning Wednesday, April 15th.  Our church will be celebrating Passion Week with Stations of the Cross.  One of those stations is the Garden of Gethsemane.


As I think of Jesus going off by himself to pray, I better understand his love for me, for us.


Love them as I may, I can't take on everybody's burden, but I know the one who can and does!


They went to a place called Gethsemane and Jesus said to his disciples, "Sit here as I pray"...."My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death."...Going a little farther he fell to he ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. "Abba Father," he said , "Everything is possible for you.  Take this cup from me.  Yet not what I will, but what you will." Mark 14:32-35




I invite you to visit my friend's blog.  Ruth Wilson is the daughter of a dear friend.
http//:Wrecked for the Ordinary
Her post on Confessions of a Christian who Still Struggles is amazing!