When its gone....it's gone

This weekend my husband and I headed off to the hill country.  We took my father-in-law's vehicle to our property, but it was bittersweet as coincidentally, it  was the one year anniversary of his passing.  On our way home, we reminisced of sweet times with a man that  missed living a century by only  fourteen months.

My husband spoke of memories at my father-in-law's house which we are preparing to sell.  He spoke of being a young boy and running his train on a make-believe track lined on a throw rug in the den.  The fire burned as his parents looked on from their comfortable chairs.  That was my husband's childhood home.

The conversation was somber as we spoke of memories and dealing with grief.  I seldom see him express emotion and asked about it.  He stated that sometimes he would get lost reminiscing of times with his father.

We are renovating my father-in-law's house so the tear down was difficult.  We found notes that he had left in closets, drawers, and walls but none were as impacting as the kids measurements and ages located on a wall in the laundry room.

When we began the project I noticed the measurements and saw where in 2003, Matthew's name was added to the wall.  We were married in 2003 and he became one of the grand kids that year.  It was sad to see and I chose to "move on" to other renovations.

At last, we could not delay it any longer.  The time came for that wall to be painted like all the rest. I was not there but my husband said that it was quite difficult to put that coat of paint on the wall and erase memories of his mom writing the measurements in pencil. 

My response to him was "it's gone!" It is covered up to be seen no more.  I told him it is much like sin.  When we call upon God and ask him to forgive us of our sins, "he is faithful to and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness" [1 John 1:9].


We want to hold on to sin much like we wanted to hold on to the markings on that wall.  Once the decision was made to let it go, it was gone.  Unfortunately, when we let go of sin, we always want to take it back.   We would be better off to let it go completely, but  I will give you fair warning that when you hand God your sin there will always be someone to remind you of your past, bring up your sin, and taunt you about who you were before Christ. 

My advice to you is don't listen to those people.  Turn your your sin over to God and "when it's gone...it's gone."

...as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.  Psalm 103:12

Safety First

This weekend my husband and I joined my dad and sister for some deer hunting.  Ready to get that big buck or doe for sweet venison dinners.  We came locked and loaded as they say.  My sister got her first doe of the season earlier and we were looking forward to it.

This year for my birthday dad got me a sweet Remington 243.  He had gotten my sister one two years earlier and I finally got mine.  I got it in August and my birthday is in February but it wouldn't be dad if he didn't forget one of our birthdays.

We arrived at the cabin  and I immediately decide to go out with my sister.  Before we went, my husband went over the loading of the weapon.  Dad was not going out but warned me about safety.  He said "you have to be careful, you're dealing with a weapon and live rounds, this isn't to be toyed with." instinctively I turned and said (respectfully of course) "Dad, I carried a firearm for thirty years-I have had firearms training at one of the finest training facilities in the country."

I thought "I've been through firearms obstacle courses, shoot-don't shoot courses,  tactical training courses- why would dad be so worried about me and safety and not my sister?"

As my sister and I walked to the deer stand this safety first thing lingered.  I continued to question dad's pursuing this issue with me.  It truly did bother me until I equated to my heavenly Father.  God constantly warns us in His Word against the dangers of this world and we still walk right into it.

Many times we head out into the world thinking we are sufficiently armed with the Word of God.  Truth be known, I become complacent and there is no worst place than being complacent in my faith. Every now and then I need my Heavenly Father to to remind that an enemy lurks and if I don't review, recall, and reclaim the Word of God, I could suffer.

Eventualy I came to the realization that dad was concerned that he was sending his two daughters to the deer stand by themselves,  he could not "protect" them.  I thank my dad for the reminder of "safety first," and I thank my Heavenly Father for the reminder that I am safe in Him.

Hold me up that I may be safe and have regard for your statues continually. Psalm 119:117

Everyone who goes on ahead and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God.  Whoever abides in the teaching has both the Father and the Son.  .2 John 1:9

Who do you represent?

This week was college week at school.  Wednesday was "college shirt day" where teachers could wear shirts that represented the college or university they attended.  Yippee! Anything to get to wear jeans to school, but I was in a delimma.

You see, my school is ACU! That's right-Abieline Christian University.  The purple and white Wildcats.  I dug deep until I found my two shirts and had to decide which to wear.  One shirt had the school name witten in white block letters on the front the other had a small logo on the front with a large logo and ACU on the back.

The shirt with the white letters did not have a logo on the back it had 1 Corinthians 13:13 written on it in big letters all across the back.  It would be hard to miss the verse.  I looked at one and then the other and for a split second I thought "What if the school makes me take it off because it might offend someone?"

I was angry at myself for  thninking that and immediately thought of the many things that offend Christ and many don't care.  I decided I was going to wear the scripture shirt and represent!  When my son was younger, I developed a life "verse" that I shared with him daily before he went to school, or out with friends and it is "remember who you represent."

This was my time to represent and I was allowing the trend of society to dictate what I wore because of a scripture on my back.  I took the chance that I might be told  "someone is offended" or "that is not within the guidelines" but that was a chance I was willing to take.

I wore my ACU shirt and I wore it proud.  Some that understood complimented me on the boldness to wear it.  To others, sadly, it might just have been seen as a school motto.  I am grateful that God provided a way for me to attend this school and represent.....not the school-Him!

And now these three remain: with, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13

We are therefore ambassadors [representatives] for Christ, as though God were making his appeal through us.  We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. 2 Corinthians 5:20

Honor God

This morning, as I do every morning, I left the house while it was still dark.  I packed my things, let our dogs out and got in my car.  Before I got to the second stop sign I heard the radio announcer introduce a kindergarten class from a local school to say the pledge of allegiance. 

I listened as these cute kids said it in their ever sweet voice "I pwwedge alliegiance..." I smiled as they said it in unison.  I wondered why people don't start off with that every morning.  We say it at school and believe me I make my kids stand up, face the flag and repeat the pledge.

As I continued listening, I heard "...and to the repubwic for which it stands one nation, honor God..."  Wait!  Did I really hear that?  Honor God?   It should be "one nation, under God" but because these guys still have their baby voice, it sounded like "honor God" and that could not be more true right now.  

How amazing if our country took a stronger stance and honored God in our decisions, actions and life.  It begins at the top.  As a country we are so busy being "tolerant" that we are compromising many of our core values and beliefs.  As is evident even here in our own city, we dilute the Word of God and honoring Him becomes more foreign. 

I love my country but it's time to remember that we are "one nation, under God" and as such we must strive to Honor God!

If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.
2 Chronicles 7:14

Who controls the rollercoaster?

Let me tell you just how much I hate roller coasters.  I hate roller coasters with a passion.  One of my greatest fears, second to snakes is free falling.  I know many of you might say that it's my fear because I like having control and there would be much truth in that.  I do not like the idea that someone else gets to control me free falling on rails, wearing only a flimsy strap.  I don't like it!  It instills a deep, painful fear.  As much as I love him, I have never been on a roller coaster with my son.  At amusement parks, he always had to go with a friend as I watched from below.

This week, my entire family as a group went on a roller coaster ride.  My mother suffers from diabetes.  It is a terrible, debilitating disease for her.  It has taken the mother we once knew and changed her.  Long gone are the days of shopping together, watching a play or movie, or just taking a stroll.  The disease is robbing her of her eyesight and has severely limited her waking abilities.

Last Friday she finally advised us of a cut that would not heal.  When we arrived at the doctor's office it was as we expected...serious.  He was not happy that she waited so long to tell some one yet he treated her and sent her home with antibiotics hoping it would help.  Unfortunately, having limited eyesight and not being able to walk, my mom failed to keep with the schedule and was admitted into the hospital two days later.  Hold on for the roller coaster ride.

Her admitting doctor, a podiatrist surgeon from the initial visit, was not the ER doctor.  The ER doctor was someone we knew nothing about, someone we had never met,  someone mom was not really comfortable with, and she became the primary doctor by default.

Mom settled into the hospital and the primary doctor administered intravenous antibiotics telling us she thought it would be fine.  That made us all happy.  Within three days that changed  The primary doctor had made a grim diagnosis and threw our family as  a whole into a deep, dark place.  We were torn between the doctor's decision and mom's unwillingness to submit.  Wanting to honor our mother, we waited the few hours we had before a making and accepting a final decision.

In the meantime, her podiatrist had not made a visit and he was the one that knew my mom best.  He was the one that for years has taken care of her, he had dealt with this once before, he had both scolded and loved on my mom for many years yet he had not stopped by once.  The primary doctor advised that she had texted him, called him, and emailed him requesting that he stop by for a second opinion but she had received no response.  We were desperate.

I knew our church was praying, I knew mom was on many prayer lists but I needed more!  We needed more!  We needed that doctor to see mom and give us direction.  We would succumb to his decision.

I, along with my other siblings took our turns sitting  in a corner chair watching my mom struggle and we needed more.  I needed this doctor to come in...we needed him.  I picked up my phone and began to text a dear high school friend who is one of my two strong praying warriors.  I merely texted for her to pray that this doctor would come in and see my mom. We needed him, we needed his opinion, we needed answers that only he could provide.  We felt like our prayers for direction would be answered through him but in order for that to happen, we needed him to come in.

My friend merely texted back "Praying Now."  With that text, I bowed my head and prayed with her in one accord.  As I said amen,  I lifted my head to look at my mother and out of the corner of my eye, I saw her room door open and an angel walk in.  I was stunned! This doctor that we had so fervently prayed for walked in the room literally seconds after the amen.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.  I was stunned, I was thrilled, I was humbled.  This God...the God that I serve, the God that has the power to part the waters, heal the sick, calm the storm, this God had come through in a big way!  This doctor may have thought that it was his decision to visit mom but little does he know it was God that moved him to come.

The news gets better.  During his visit, he disagreed with the primary doctor and opted to continue IV antibiotics for another forty eight hours.  Such amazing news!   I can't tell you how it felt to text my siblings and tell them  and my father the good news.  Within two days, mom was home.  I had taken a ride on the roller coaster I so deeply fear.  I would have to agree that the issue is control.  I don't want someone at the controls dictating speed, motion or anything else.  while this roller coaster was a rough ride, we felt safe because we knew the God we serve and trust is in control  and He did not fail us, God brought us through.

My mom's road to recovery will be long and difficult as elements of life as she knew it have changed.  I am grateful to all the prayer warriors, friends and family that reached out to us during this difficult time.  I love my family and know how much this matriarch means-not only to us, but to many of our extended family as well.

And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven.  Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other that you may be healed.  The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.  James 5:15-16

Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.   For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.  Matthew 18:19  


Thank you Ruth Torres Orasco for your ministry In One Accord and for including me and Lydia Guerra Lewis in praying for our friend.

He knows my name

Early in this school year I was called to serve as a long term substitute at a local school.  I was teaching a kindergarten class of  approximately twenty five children.  I had to learn everyone's name and began by using name tags.

For weeks I called Edward - Hector and  Angie -Abigail. You could hear me calling a child four names before I finally got the child's name right.  By the end of my tenure of six weeks, I had no problem.  I could look at a child and call them by their proper name.  That was weeks ago.

Today, I returned to the same school for another assignment. I returned to cover a fourth grade class and dealt with the same issue.  As I walked to lunch thinking of a way to remember names [fourth graders are not receptive to name tags], I walked past the kinder class with all those kids.  When they looked out the window they yelled "Mrrrrrrrsssssss. Barfield!"  I lifted my hand to wave and said "Hi......uh.....mmm...." I couldn't remember their names.

It had only been four weeks I had already forgotten most of their names.  Another teacher who had also subbed in that class talked about a child and said "You remember her don't you?" I had to say that I remembered the behavior but not the child's name.  

That actually made me think about God.  He knows all our names and there are billions of us! There is no time apart, no vacation, no "lost in action" that can keep God from knowing our name!  Many people fear that God remembers our behavior but not our name when in reality, the reverse is true.  Isn't that amazing? To any in this world thinking that God has forgotten their name.  To them I say "Not so!"

In thinking about this new class of fourth graders, and how to remember twenty new names, I thought "What if I used cheat sheet?"  I could write  the children's names on my hand I look at my hand to recall their names.  If you know anything about me, you know that I could make that system work.

What a sweeeeet idea! Then anytime I needed to call them by name, I could do so by looking at the names written on my hand. The only problem is that I would have to write the names on my hand each time I washed them  and there is no time for that.


I am human and it seems that the older I get, the more forgetful I become.  You can not depend on me to remember 50 [split classes] names.  I remember the class helpers, the busybodies, and the instigators.  Unfortunately, in some cases, those who sit quietly, do their work and don't bother anybody are the ones that hear the question "I'm sorry, what's your name?" 

Does God have a system?  Does He have a cheat sheet?  I can't answer that but I can say He knows you by name.  How do I know that, because He said so.  You are the one He died for.  You and me!

God doesn't and won't ask "What is your name?" like I do.  When those nails were driven into the palms of his hands, your name was written on them.    If no one else in the world remembers you by name, take confidence in knowing that God knows your name.

"Can a mother forget her baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne?  Though she may forget, I will not forget you!

See, I have engraved  you [your name] on the palms of my hands...."    Isaiah 49:15

 

Is it true?

Yesterday I heard a story about beanie babies.  I don't have a collection per say but I do have a few that are special.  I have a purple one embroidered with 70 X 7 representing Matthew 18:21-22.  I also have a brown bear given to me by a friend, a bear representing my favorite place-San Diego, California and a few others.

I was told by someone that they had heard "those beanie babies are filled with Brown Recluse spider eggs and they will all hatch at the same time [causing many deaths]." The first thing I thought was "that's not true."  One reason I thought that was because I have had those babies for years and they are still in tact.

The biggest reason I didn't believe it is because of the element of truth.  According to Orkin  "Brown Recluse eggs do not lay dormant for 20 years..."  Also the creator, Ty Warner used a "poseable lining and plastic pellets rather than conventional stuffing." This story was apparently a joke on a social media website that caused fear, but many  believed this story.  


I have written several times on truth and I will once again.  How do you know if what you hear is the truth?  Commit it to prayer and God will reveal it to you.  Often we believe a lie because it sounds so real, it sounds so true!  Perhaps the one who is telling you that lie is very believable.  My advise to you is to seek the truth in Christ. 

 In the times of Paul the Apostle, people were living in a very pagan society.  They were drowning in their sin and they like us, needed a Savior.   They did not want to hear the truth of Jesus Christ. Many today choose to have "selective belief" and follow their own desires rather than the truth of the Word of God.

We serve a God who has compassion on his people.  We have a God who is slow to anger and full of compassion. [Exodus 34:6]  However, we can not continue to test God.  We can not exchange the truth of God for a lie simply because it sounds right or sounds believable.

If you have a question about God, his goodness, his plan, eternal life or salvation, let me guide you to the truth!  It is found in the Word of God.  When you hear something that "just doesn't  sound right" don't fall for it....look for the truth.  Many people carry heavy burdens because they exchanged the truth for a lie!  Believe in the one who laid the path to truth... Jesus Christ.

They exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator- who is forever praised.  Romans 1:25





Orkin Pest Control
Ty Warner (c) Beanie Babies, Oakbrook, Il. 1986 

Teach them

This week I have been taking care of my great niece,  it is this experience that makes you realize you are getting old.  She is full of energy and at 18 months,  certainly can out run me.  When she sleeps, she is the image of her mother at that age.

The other day she had a very active day and I could  not get her down for a nap.  I laid her down and she would pop right back up with that cheesy four tooth grin.  I kept saying "Victoria Grace- go nite nite" and you would think I was telling her to go run a marathon.

Finally I got her down and her eyes got heavy. I laid down next to her and closed my eyes.  I began humming some songs.  I hummed Rock-a-By-Baby; Amazing Grace, and several other songs.  Having run out of options, I started humming Itsy Bitsy Spider.

As I sang, I opened my eyes to see if she was sleeping.  Her eyes were closed and she was relaxed but I noticed that as I hummed that song,  her little hands were making the motions. The sound of Itsy-Bitsy-Spider drove her to do what she knew, the motions to the song!

If an 18 month old reverts to what she has been taught, why don't we? Someone took the time to teach this child that song and the motions.

Long ago, I taught my son to learn scripture, to love Christ and to cling to Him in times of success and tragedy- basically, trust Him always.  I learned that from parents who invested in me and taught me to love and serve Christ.

Proverbs 22:6 says "Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn for it."

Children are never too young to be taught and adults will never be to old. So if no one taught you the Word of God, I invite you to open it up and learn what God has to say them teach others.

These commandments I give you today are to be on your hearts.  Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home, and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Deuteronomy 6:6-7