Yesterday my son called me with a situation that was really upsetting to him. Wow....sometimes it's difficult to stick to your guns when someone you love with every beat of your heart is trying to convince you otherwise.
I have come to the conclusion that at 17, he must make decisions where he will carry responsibility for the end result. My main message is this....regardless of other people's behavior, God still expects US to be the example.
Sometimes that's tough. When others betray you...be the example; when you're wrongly accused...be the example; when others talk about you...be the example. I am reminded of the movie BraveHeart starring Mel Gibson. He stood for what he believed in and did not give up.
So one might ask "why should I?" to which I responded "Because that individual might not know Christ and your example could be the key." The next reason and perhaps the biggest is because that's what God has called us to do and by any other name, it's called obedience.
Of all people, I can tell you how difficult that is. Doing what is right is easy when it benefits you but obedience can require some sacrifice and there are times we just don't want to do that. I can still call the shots and "demand" my son make the right decision but what I found yesterday was that once the smoke cleared, I had his listening ears, "being the example" prevailed.
As adults, how many times do we say "I just don't like that girl" or "that guy drives me nuts with his stories" or "Here comes motor mouth, I'm going the other way" and purposely ignore people? How many times do we speak kindly of others and as soon as they're out of the room we "dog" them? Our kids see this and think it is perfectly fine if our mom or dad does it.
That is a lesson we could all learn. For a long time I chose my words carefully and made sure that I did not say anything negative against others in the presence of my son, why? Because he held me accountable! He would ask about my comment and then ask me to explain how that was a "godly example." While he was much younger, the premise has not changed.
Furthermore, I am still accountable to my Father. Hebrews 4:13 says "...nothing in all creation is hidden from his sight...." that includes words! The worst part of not being the example is that one wrong word, or one thing spoken in anger, betrayal, or hurt can last a lifetime. Restoration and reconcilation are much slower to come that a quick word spoken in anger.
So I cautioned my son to take a deep breath, and address the issue respecting authority and being a godly example. I was prepared with scripture for every argument I anticipated from him. While that might not have been the way he wanted to handle it, in the end....God calls us to be obedient and he was. There is no greater validation for a parent than to see a child pursue the will and word of God.
Do not let unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling, and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one anther, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you. Ephesians 4:29-32
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