Thursday, November 28, 2013
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
I love you Dee
This week, my father-in-law went home to be with the Lord. It was a long journey however, the lessons learned during this time are priceless.
My father-in-law was a man of honor. In a day and time when so many say they have honor, he lived it. As I recall times and past events , I remember preparing to drive him to Walmart one day. I knew I'd better not get ahead of him and open my door because even at 98, he was still a gentleman and would not be denied that right.
I quickly learned how to do the "Barfield Shuffle" and stay at his pace allowing him to be the chivalrous man that he was.
He was a man of many talents. He loved to write and a yellow pad and pen were never far away. He loved to write poems and they often reflected his love of God, family and country. He also loved having visitors and telling the most interesting stories of days past.
Often, my father-in-law would make statements that left impressions. For instance, he said:
"Josh will do fine in boot camp, he will make a good soldier"
"I'm so glad that Matthew got into Sam Houston State"
"You'll have to finish Quawanna Parker" [a poem he had started earlier].
What he said meant alot. I paid close attention to what he had to say, often writing some things down.
Unfortunately in January he had a health issue and upon being released from the hospital he was sent to a center for rehabilitation. After several months it was evident that his stay would be much longer than anyone anticipated.
As he became weaker and his life more confined to that bed, I walked into the room and expecting to hear some words of wisdom, but this day, he simply extended his arms to me. As I approached him, I gave him a hug and he proceeded to look me in the eye and simply said "I love you, Dee." That meant more to me than anything else he said.
It meant more because he made it personal. He didn't just say I love you, he said "I love you Dee." That meant that those words were exclusively for me.
Two thousand years ago, Christ was crucified for my sin. In agony he made statements like:
Father forgive them for they know not what they do
Today, you shall be with me in paradise.
While Christ made these statements, the greatest, most impacting statement he made was by his actions when he stretched his arms on that cross and said I love you Dee.
That statement was impacting because he added my name to it and made it personal. He did that for me and for you.
I am grateful that God allowed me the privilege to serve and take care of a man who loved others more than he loved himself. I was honored to be called his caregiver but more honored to be called his daughter-in-law. I know he is dancing in heaven.
For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. 2 Corinthians 5:14-15
Berkley Barfield
January 7, 1915-November 21, 2013
My father-in-law was a man of honor. In a day and time when so many say they have honor, he lived it. As I recall times and past events , I remember preparing to drive him to Walmart one day. I knew I'd better not get ahead of him and open my door because even at 98, he was still a gentleman and would not be denied that right.
I quickly learned how to do the "Barfield Shuffle" and stay at his pace allowing him to be the chivalrous man that he was.
He was a man of many talents. He loved to write and a yellow pad and pen were never far away. He loved to write poems and they often reflected his love of God, family and country. He also loved having visitors and telling the most interesting stories of days past.
Often, my father-in-law would make statements that left impressions. For instance, he said:
"Josh will do fine in boot camp, he will make a good soldier"
"I'm so glad that Matthew got into Sam Houston State"
"You'll have to finish Quawanna Parker" [a poem he had started earlier].
What he said meant alot. I paid close attention to what he had to say, often writing some things down.
Unfortunately in January he had a health issue and upon being released from the hospital he was sent to a center for rehabilitation. After several months it was evident that his stay would be much longer than anyone anticipated.
As he became weaker and his life more confined to that bed, I walked into the room and expecting to hear some words of wisdom, but this day, he simply extended his arms to me. As I approached him, I gave him a hug and he proceeded to look me in the eye and simply said "I love you, Dee." That meant more to me than anything else he said.
It meant more because he made it personal. He didn't just say I love you, he said "I love you Dee." That meant that those words were exclusively for me.
Two thousand years ago, Christ was crucified for my sin. In agony he made statements like:
Father forgive them for they know not what they do
Today, you shall be with me in paradise.
While Christ made these statements, the greatest, most impacting statement he made was by his actions when he stretched his arms on that cross and said I love you Dee.
That statement was impacting because he added my name to it and made it personal. He did that for me and for you.
I am grateful that God allowed me the privilege to serve and take care of a man who loved others more than he loved himself. I was honored to be called his caregiver but more honored to be called his daughter-in-law. I know he is dancing in heaven.
For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. 2 Corinthians 5:14-15
Berkley Barfield
January 7, 1915-November 21, 2013
Monday, November 18, 2013
No uniforms
This weekend I ran in the Rock n Roll marathon. Some family members organized a run in the half marathon that I was a part of. The run was in San Antonio, Tx and my sister and I left a day early to visit the Hill Country first.
On our way to Fredericksburg, we stopped in San Antonio so that I could pick up my run packet. I knew Saturday would be swampped and twenty five thousand individuals would all be trying to get their packet.
As I walked in, I was blessed to have a speedy check-in. I walked through the Expo and was immediately humbled when I saw all the military camo uniforms picking up their packets. The realization of San Antonio being a military base city hit me at that moment. In fact, I have a cousin in the Air Force.
I felt like such a "seed" in this garden of individuals that I felt were so much bigger than me. I wanted to stop and thank everyone of them. The swell of pride rose in me to think that I would be running with these men and women who fight every day to give me my freedom.
I thought "how cool" that I would have that opportunity. Uniforms everywhere!
Event day day came and guess what....we all looked the same. Running shirts, shorts, tennis shoes, headbands, water bottles...everyone looked the same. I asked myself "Where are the military people?" I could not identify them or pick them out. Where are those who fight for our freedom?
It hit me at that moment that in life, we are all different. Some are affluent-some live in poverty; some are well educated-some are not; some are homeless-some are not. The importance of that is that in God's eyes, we are all the same.
In the Expo, we could identify those in the military by their uniform, but in the race, we were all the same with one mission in mind, complete the race.
God does not see us as different. We are all the same in his eyes and one day when we all meet in heaven, we will not have our opulence or poverty, we won't have our degrees or medals, we won't have our uniforms or any other identifiers.
In God's eyes, we will only be the individual He created.
God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27
On our way to Fredericksburg, we stopped in San Antonio so that I could pick up my run packet. I knew Saturday would be swampped and twenty five thousand individuals would all be trying to get their packet.
As I walked in, I was blessed to have a speedy check-in. I walked through the Expo and was immediately humbled when I saw all the military camo uniforms picking up their packets. The realization of San Antonio being a military base city hit me at that moment. In fact, I have a cousin in the Air Force.
I felt like such a "seed" in this garden of individuals that I felt were so much bigger than me. I wanted to stop and thank everyone of them. The swell of pride rose in me to think that I would be running with these men and women who fight every day to give me my freedom.
I thought "how cool" that I would have that opportunity. Uniforms everywhere!
Event day day came and guess what....we all looked the same. Running shirts, shorts, tennis shoes, headbands, water bottles...everyone looked the same. I asked myself "Where are the military people?" I could not identify them or pick them out. Where are those who fight for our freedom?
It hit me at that moment that in life, we are all different. Some are affluent-some live in poverty; some are well educated-some are not; some are homeless-some are not. The importance of that is that in God's eyes, we are all the same.
In the Expo, we could identify those in the military by their uniform, but in the race, we were all the same with one mission in mind, complete the race.
God does not see us as different. We are all the same in his eyes and one day when we all meet in heaven, we will not have our opulence or poverty, we won't have our degrees or medals, we won't have our uniforms or any other identifiers.
In God's eyes, we will only be the individual He created.
God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27
Friday, November 15, 2013
Beauty in the real
This morning as I ran, I was fading fast. This was a short run...only three miles but the run was hard. As I willed myself to continue running, I saw something red "escaping" through the brown leaves and branches. It was on the ground and caught my eye for just a moment.
I quickly realized that it was the most beautiful red bird I had ever seen. Although I had my ear buds in listening to music, I found myself saying "No little bird, don't hide, you're so beautiful."
As I continued running, I wondered why that little bird was hiding. I was concentrating on it's beauty not it's fear or apprehension of me. The thought of how beautiful it was would just not leave me. I kept thinking of how God had made it with such bright colors and so beautiful!
My thoughts quickly went to my life and how I hide if I am "not in my full state." You know it....if you're at the grocery store and you're not wearing make up or you're sporting the most faded, maybe torn running gear. I'm the worlds best at hiding in the most inconspious aisles until I can make my get away.
During the episode with the running bird, I thought of a picture I saw on facebook. My friend Lindsay Witham, also my former Women's Ministry Director, posted a picture of herself. She also teaches a Ladies Bible study and I assumed by the post that her picture [pre-makeup] had to do with her class. The picture simply said something like "keeping it real."
I thought "Wow, that takes courage." I could not do that. I come from a generation were my mother advised us to greet our husband in the morning only after we were "cleaned up and made up." That means "full make up." Of course time and generations changed that.
Anyway, when I saw Lyndsay's picture I thought "How cool that she recognizes her beauty even in her real state." I am uncomfortable with my real state. That day, I continued seeing more photos displayed of women "keeping it real." I remember saying "Whoa! Ladies, ladies, what are you doing? You are letting people see the real you!" "No!" that is reserved for me and my "close" circle.
This morning, as that story came to mind, I remembered a scripture from Psalm 139 where it says "You created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb..." While I have characteristics from my mom and my dad, I want the real me to look like my Heavenly Father. He knows the real me. No make up, no facades, no pretension, just me like he created me.
While he formed our eyes, he didn't choose eye shadow colors, and he gave us specific colored eyes which many have changed with contacts. He gave us eyelashes which women often change with adhesive lashes and so on and so on.
I am grateful for all these ladies that had no fear of showing their real state. In my Father's eyes, beauty is in the real! I don't want to be like the little bird running, hiding from others I want to display the love of God just the way he made me.
So if you see me in the store with no make-up or in faded, worn clothes, I won't run....just know "I'm keeping it real!"
I know full well my frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depts of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body...Psalms 139:15-16
Thank you Lindsay Witham
I quickly realized that it was the most beautiful red bird I had ever seen. Although I had my ear buds in listening to music, I found myself saying "No little bird, don't hide, you're so beautiful."
As I continued running, I wondered why that little bird was hiding. I was concentrating on it's beauty not it's fear or apprehension of me. The thought of how beautiful it was would just not leave me. I kept thinking of how God had made it with such bright colors and so beautiful!
My thoughts quickly went to my life and how I hide if I am "not in my full state." You know it....if you're at the grocery store and you're not wearing make up or you're sporting the most faded, maybe torn running gear. I'm the worlds best at hiding in the most inconspious aisles until I can make my get away.
During the episode with the running bird, I thought of a picture I saw on facebook. My friend Lindsay Witham, also my former Women's Ministry Director, posted a picture of herself. She also teaches a Ladies Bible study and I assumed by the post that her picture [pre-makeup] had to do with her class. The picture simply said something like "keeping it real."
I thought "Wow, that takes courage." I could not do that. I come from a generation were my mother advised us to greet our husband in the morning only after we were "cleaned up and made up." That means "full make up." Of course time and generations changed that.
Anyway, when I saw Lyndsay's picture I thought "How cool that she recognizes her beauty even in her real state." I am uncomfortable with my real state. That day, I continued seeing more photos displayed of women "keeping it real." I remember saying "Whoa! Ladies, ladies, what are you doing? You are letting people see the real you!" "No!" that is reserved for me and my "close" circle.
This morning, as that story came to mind, I remembered a scripture from Psalm 139 where it says "You created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb..." While I have characteristics from my mom and my dad, I want the real me to look like my Heavenly Father. He knows the real me. No make up, no facades, no pretension, just me like he created me.
While he formed our eyes, he didn't choose eye shadow colors, and he gave us specific colored eyes which many have changed with contacts. He gave us eyelashes which women often change with adhesive lashes and so on and so on.
I am grateful for all these ladies that had no fear of showing their real state. In my Father's eyes, beauty is in the real! I don't want to be like the little bird running, hiding from others I want to display the love of God just the way he made me.
So if you see me in the store with no make-up or in faded, worn clothes, I won't run....just know "I'm keeping it real!"
I know full well my frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depts of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body...Psalms 139:15-16
Thank you Lindsay Witham
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Sacrificial Obedience
As I sit to write, I contemplate on something that has been on my mind all day. Sometimes doing what God calls us to do is difficult and if you're like me, you'll put it off as long as you can.
I so want to honor God and do His will but it always seems that I overthink it, make excuses, or delay the action. You see, I believe God has been calling me to do something for a while. Unfortunately, I have put everything I have into "doing".
I have said "look at me, I'm working, does that count?" I come up with things like "I'm faithful in thithing, I teach Bible Study, and I participate in 'events'" Who am I kidding? None of those compare to obedience.
In Genesis 12, God told Abraham "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you." He did not give Abraham an option, He did not give him an "out" He simply said "leave it" and go.
In another case in the New Testament, Jesus made a call to follow Him. A disciple said to Him, "Lord, first let me go and bother my father." But Jesus told him, "Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead."
As much as I want to say "but everything I'm doing requires sacrifice" and that's as good as obedience isn't it? No! It isn't. Recently I have found myself wanting to bargain and I have to tell you, God is not in the business of bargaining.
In the Old Testament Saul chose not to obey God. He did things his way and grieved the Lord. As difficult as it is to follow through with obedience, I would never want to hear God say "I am grieved that I have made [Saul] king because he has turned away from me and has not carried out my instruction."
That could say "Dee" or anyone else. My prayer is that I will not grieve my Lord in that manner and that He will give me the strength to follow through with obedience rather than bargain with sacrifice.
Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings as much as in obeying the voice of the Lord? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is bette than the fat of rams. 1 Samuel 15:22
I so want to honor God and do His will but it always seems that I overthink it, make excuses, or delay the action. You see, I believe God has been calling me to do something for a while. Unfortunately, I have put everything I have into "doing".
I have said "look at me, I'm working, does that count?" I come up with things like "I'm faithful in thithing, I teach Bible Study, and I participate in 'events'" Who am I kidding? None of those compare to obedience.
In Genesis 12, God told Abraham "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you." He did not give Abraham an option, He did not give him an "out" He simply said "leave it" and go.
In another case in the New Testament, Jesus made a call to follow Him. A disciple said to Him, "Lord, first let me go and bother my father." But Jesus told him, "Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead."
As much as I want to say "but everything I'm doing requires sacrifice" and that's as good as obedience isn't it? No! It isn't. Recently I have found myself wanting to bargain and I have to tell you, God is not in the business of bargaining.
In the Old Testament Saul chose not to obey God. He did things his way and grieved the Lord. As difficult as it is to follow through with obedience, I would never want to hear God say "I am grieved that I have made [Saul] king because he has turned away from me and has not carried out my instruction."
That could say "Dee" or anyone else. My prayer is that I will not grieve my Lord in that manner and that He will give me the strength to follow through with obedience rather than bargain with sacrifice.
Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings as much as in obeying the voice of the Lord? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is bette than the fat of rams. 1 Samuel 15:22
Monday, November 4, 2013
Three little words
I told my husband that I was going to write a post on "three little words" and his reply was "I love you" too. Much to his disappointment, those were not the three words I had in mind. However, it did open a conversation that led us to describing Bible Characters in only three words. Here's what we came up with:
Noah........Build an ark.
Moses......Lead my people.
Isaiah.......Here am I.
Peter........No! Not me.
Herod......Dance for me.
Ezekiel....Dry bones dance.
Adam......Not my fault.
Hannah....Need a baby.
Leah.........Marry me first.
Enoch......See ya later.
Lot's Wife-Don't look back.
Bathsheba-Take a bath.
Jonah.......I'm not going.
Tamar......Hid her face.
Jesus.......It is finished.
So I started thinking about three little words when I had to go buy a new Bible. I finally broke! Sunday when I opened my Bible to read, Genesis through Numbers fell right to the floor. James through Revelation were clipped on with a black super binder and the rest hung by threads.
I have to admit, it is really difficult for me to let go of my Bibles. The very first one I owned twelve years ago is special to me as I purchased it when I first came to Christ in adulthood. I wore it out, however, I still go back to it for reference and notes. The one I currently have is larger print [imagine that] and it has ample space to write in the margin. Still, it has years of notes, memories, pictures, special verses and so much more. I just didn't want to give it up.
Finally, I went to one of the local christian stores and spent a while searching before I purchased a new one. When I got home I realized it is exactly like the one I currently have. You might think that would be easy right? All the verses in the exact same place! I can usually tell you what side of the page and what column a certain verse is on so keeping the same Bible [style] would be great!
Unfortunately, I wanted a center column with additional reference so I took the Bible back and searched for another one. This time, I had found a 30% off coupon and I found a new Bible and got a good deal for it.
I know that the reality of it is that I had to let go of my comfort zone. I had to let go of "familiarity" and start anew. I know that what counts is intimacy not familiarity and the only way I will be intimate with God is to dig into His word and learn new things. It is just so hard to willingly give it up.
I recall someone once saying that they didn't want to "buy a new Bible" because of the same reason as I gave except that she called it pride. I had to re-evaluate and finally let go.
So if my name were on the list above, and I was describing me....my three words would be: Let it go!
Then Jesus said to his disciples "If any one would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. Matthew 16: 24-25
Noah........Build an ark.
Moses......Lead my people.
Isaiah.......Here am I.
Peter........No! Not me.
Herod......Dance for me.
Ezekiel....Dry bones dance.
Adam......Not my fault.
Hannah....Need a baby.
Leah.........Marry me first.
Enoch......See ya later.
Lot's Wife-Don't look back.
Bathsheba-Take a bath.
Jonah.......I'm not going.
Tamar......Hid her face.
Jesus.......It is finished.
So I started thinking about three little words when I had to go buy a new Bible. I finally broke! Sunday when I opened my Bible to read, Genesis through Numbers fell right to the floor. James through Revelation were clipped on with a black super binder and the rest hung by threads.
I have to admit, it is really difficult for me to let go of my Bibles. The very first one I owned twelve years ago is special to me as I purchased it when I first came to Christ in adulthood. I wore it out, however, I still go back to it for reference and notes. The one I currently have is larger print [imagine that] and it has ample space to write in the margin. Still, it has years of notes, memories, pictures, special verses and so much more. I just didn't want to give it up.
Finally, I went to one of the local christian stores and spent a while searching before I purchased a new one. When I got home I realized it is exactly like the one I currently have. You might think that would be easy right? All the verses in the exact same place! I can usually tell you what side of the page and what column a certain verse is on so keeping the same Bible [style] would be great!
Unfortunately, I wanted a center column with additional reference so I took the Bible back and searched for another one. This time, I had found a 30% off coupon and I found a new Bible and got a good deal for it.
I know that the reality of it is that I had to let go of my comfort zone. I had to let go of "familiarity" and start anew. I know that what counts is intimacy not familiarity and the only way I will be intimate with God is to dig into His word and learn new things. It is just so hard to willingly give it up.
I recall someone once saying that they didn't want to "buy a new Bible" because of the same reason as I gave except that she called it pride. I had to re-evaluate and finally let go.
So if my name were on the list above, and I was describing me....my three words would be: Let it go!
Then Jesus said to his disciples "If any one would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. Matthew 16: 24-25
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