I love you Dee

This week, my father-in-law went home to be with the Lord.  It was a long journey however, the lessons learned during this time are priceless.

My father-in-law was a man of honor.  In a day and time when so many say they have honor, he lived it.  As I recall times and past events , I remember preparing to drive him to Walmart one day. I knew I'd better not get ahead of him and open my door because even at 98, he was still a gentleman and would not be denied that right.

I quickly learned how to do the "Barfield Shuffle" and stay at his pace allowing him to be the chivalrous man that he was. 

He was a man of many talents.  He loved to write and a yellow pad and pen were never far away.  He loved to write poems and they often reflected his love of God, family and country.  He also loved having visitors and telling the most interesting stories of days past.

Often, my father-in-law would make statements that left impressions.  For instance, he said:

"Josh will do fine in boot camp, he will make a good soldier"
"I'm so glad that Matthew got into Sam Houston State"
"You'll have to finish Quawanna Parker" [a poem he had started earlier].

What he said meant alot.  I paid close attention to what he had to say, often writing some things down.

Unfortunately in January he had a health issue and upon being released from the hospital he was sent to a center for rehabilitation.  After several months it was evident that his stay would be much longer than anyone anticipated. 

As he became weaker and his life more confined to that bed, I walked into the room and expecting to hear some words of wisdom, but this day,  he simply extended his arms to me.  As I approached him, I gave him a hug and he proceeded to look me in the eye and simply said "I love you, Dee." That meant more to me than anything else he said. 

It meant more because he made it personal.  He didn't just say I love you, he said "I love you Dee."  That meant that those words were exclusively for me. 

Two thousand years ago, Christ was crucified for my sin.  In agony he made statements like:

Father forgive them for they know not what they do
Today, you shall be with me in paradise.

While Christ made these statements, the greatest, most impacting statement he made was by his actions when he stretched his arms on that cross and said I love you Dee. 

That statement was impacting because he added my name to it and made it personal.  He did that for me and for you.

I am grateful that God allowed me the privilege to serve and take care of a man who loved others more than he loved himself.  I was honored to be called his caregiver but more honored to be called his daughter-in-law.  I know he is dancing in heaven.

For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died.  And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.  2 Corinthians 5:14-15

Berkley Barfield
January 7, 1915-November 21, 2013