Just say no!

It's summer, days are long and hot and we are bored!  If you haven't heard that yet...you will. Kids are always looking for something to do.  They don't mean mow the lawn, or paint the dog house or clean the garage, they mean fun stuff.

The problem is that their gague of fun is quite different from us as parents.  It might be fun to hang out at the mall but malls aren't what they use to be; or it might be fun to go to someone else's home but there has to be a parent present.  So many things our kids classify as fun make me a "bad guy" when I just say NO.

Having a blended family, we haven't had many of these issues but when they get older, their social circle expands and anxiety for me can set in.  I recall my mother losing many hours of sleep waiting until all her children were tucked in.  My brother, one year older than me always pushed the limit after graduation.  There were days mom would pace the floors waiting on him and she would not go to bed until she heard the door open and lock behind him. 

She feared one day she would get that fateful call...and then one day she did.  "I'm sorry to tell you ma'am that there's been an accident and your son is being transported to Herman Hospital."  What a horror that was to see my parents, as my eyes saw them in slow motion trying to get dressed at three in the morning only to find that they had already recessitated my brother once. 

The other day youngest my son asked to go to the beach with friends.  He is with his dad so he asked me if he could go....kind of be his support in the issue.  As much as I miss my son, as much as I love him, I just said no.  I gave a thousand reasons to his two. 

Sometimes as parents, we just have to say no.  There were way too many issues:  unfamiliar beach waters, currents, no adults present, too much sun already, driving down south alone or with a group of seventeen year olds...the answer is still no.  

I felt good at that decision and later heard from his father who told our son that it was a mutual no.  I took him to an ortho appointed and while there, I overheard my son purchasing tickets to the midnight showing of the Batman movie.   We had a discussion of the dangers of a midnight movie but he of course dispelled them all. 

I went to bed uneasy knowing that he was going but like most parents we feel safe in our community. Since he was at his dad's,   I sent him a text telling him to be careful.  I told him park by the door, be alert when you walk out, stay close to a buddy and all the other warnings.  I was awakened at one in the morning thinking of my son and how he must be at the movie now. I stayed awake until two thirty and felt compelled to pray for protection at that show. 

Little did I know that in Aurora, Colorado a massacre was taking place at a showing of the very same movie.  I have often told my son "I don't say no because I don't trust you....I often say know because everthing else is out of our control."  It is often the actions of others that put us in danger or fear or terror. We can not control the actions of individuals fighting their own issues.

It is important to protect our children.  Under our roof, we still get to call the shots and sometimes, the hardest thing in the world to do is just say no!  Saying no to one unacceptable does not mean they get to present another unacceptable option.  Parents experience that also and I can "No" all day long. 

Having only one at home, I try to emphasize that he is our gift from God...the next generation...the future leaders.  You won't be able to do it a few years from now so if that's what it takes to protect them now...just say no!

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men.  It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope-the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own eager to do what is good.  These then are the things you should teach.  Encourage and rebuke with all authority.  Titus 2:11-15

I love you son!