Because I believe

Recently, while on a mission trip, I encountered an individual who questioned everything about my beliefs.  They continually asked "why?" Why do you believe that.  Nothing would satisfy the "why." Not "because God said it" not "because the Bible says it" Nothing!  I resolved to pray for the individual although I felt defeated and exhausted.

This week as I have delved into Revelations, I read Revelation 14: 9 which says:

A third angel followed them and said in a loud voice "If anyone worships the beast and its image and receives its mark on their forehead or on their hand, they too will the drink the wind of God's fury which has been poured full strength into the cup of his wrath.  They will be tormented with burning sulfur in the presence of the holy angels and of the Lamb."

It has been like reading a novel waiting for the climax at the end.  Sometimes endings leave you hanging, sometimes they leave you wanting more, and sometimes, the story just has a definite ending. This story has a definite ending as today I read in Revelation 19:20

But the beast was captured, and with the false prophet who had performed the signs on its behalf.  With these signs he had deluded those who had received the mark of the beast and worshipped its image. The two of them were thrown alive into the fiery lake of burning sulfur.

What solidifies your belief?  How do you answer the question "What makes you think what the Bible says is real?  My answer? Because I believe!

Want Help?

I realize it has been  almost a year since I've blogged....I've been a little busy.

This morning, my husband took our dog for her daily four mile walk.  When he returned, he was sweating profusely.  His shirt was sopping wet and as we all know, wet clothes are hard to remove.  I was sitting at my computer transcribing dissertation interviews.  As I glanced out of the corner of my eye, my husband struggled to get his wet t-shirt off.  I ignored him and kept typing.  I could hear him struggle as he danced around trying to get it off with one hand.  I did not offer to help for the simple reason that if we need help, there's no harm in asking for it.

Finally I turned from my desk chair and asked "Would you like some help?"  He responded "Yes of course."  He then dropped his arms and allowed me to remove his sweaty shirt.  I returned to my computer but not without a question.

Why is it that we try to conquer things ourselves?  Why do we push our selves until we are exhausted?  Why do we think we can do it without help.  We do the same thing with God. Many times in His word he tells us that He can do it. Ephesians 3:20 says "To him who is able to do immeasurably more that we could ever ask or imagine..." Why don't we ask?

If you are in a struggle and you want help, just ask God.  He stands ready to lead you through your darkest times, your brightest accomplishments, your greatest adversaries. He wants you to want him.

Want help? Ask God!

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.  Psalm 46:1

Fly Your Flag

I have a flag.  It is a beautiful flag still in the wrapper.  I have had it since Christmas 2016.  I have every intention of flying this flag, but  to this date, I have not.  The other day I pulled it out and looked it saying to myself "I am going to fly that flag!"

Several weeks ago, I heard about a a friend that also has a flag.  He chose to display his flag and attached it to a pole near his window in his home.  That is where my American flag flies.  I figured I would display this flag along side my American flag.  My friend found that his Home Owners Association (HOA) did not like the idea and they sent him a letter asking him to remove it.  That decision was instrumental to me holding mine in its wrapper a little bit longer.

I am also apprehensive about flying my flag because it will immediately label me.  It will identify my household by one solid line.  It could very well make me or my home a target and for safety reasons, I have not flown it by my home.

Today, I came home and contemplated on the sermon our pastor gave.  We will be known by our actions.  We will be known by acts of service-others will only see Christ in us if we step out and fly our flag!

You see, my flag is the law enforcement flag.  It is basically a black tinted American Flag with a single blue line going through it.  I have been apprehensive of flying it because I don't want anyone telling me I can't hang it near my house.  I haven't flown it because it would identify me as a supporter of one of the greatest organzations in the city of Houston.  I haven't flown it because I don't want my house to become a target.

We have to make a choice as to whether or not to fly our flags for Christ.  We might be criticized, we might be ostrichsized, and we might be told to bring it down....but we must still fly our flag for Christ.

Let your flag fly high and identify yourself as a follower of Christ.  Don't hesitate to let others know who you belong to!

I am not ashamed of the gospel for it is the power of salvation through Jesus Christ. Romans 1:16

Wear the Perfume

This morning as I dressed, I needed the final touch...perfume.  I had a Carolina Herrera favorite but forgot to pack it.  I have a sample tube that someone gave me at a department store.  My niece commented on it stating that she loved it.  When I looked at it, I realized it is Channel Chance.  I told a story in a devotion in Guatemala about Channel No. 5 that I had finally purchased with birthday gift cards.  I thought it was too expensive to purchase myself.  It has sat unwrapped on my dresser for two years.  It's just too special!

This morning, as I debated wearing the Channel Chance, I pulled out the small tube and saw how little was left.  What a decision.  I then remembered a lesson that I was taught many years ago.  It came from Jo Beth Young, our pastor's wife.  At my husband's deacon ordination, Mrs. Young gave a charge to the deacon's wives.  The scripture she based it on was 2 Corinthians 2: 15.  For we are to be a fragrance of Christ. What a charge!  I have never forgotten that verse and remember it often when gauging my attitude towards my husband and others.  Not gonna lie, sometimes I stink!

As I go deeper, I realize that Mrs. Young didn't give me that charge.  Jesus through Mrs. Young gave me that charge.  He went one step further in saying  For we are to be the fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, Wow!  How am I doing in spreading the fragrance of Christ to those who are perishing?  Those who are looking to me to see Jesus?

This scripture has been a favorite of mine since the day I heard it at my husband's ordination,  I have never forgotten the impact it made that day and continues to make.  As I contemplated wearing the expensive perfume to simply walk around in the Hill Country, I decided to go for it.  Wear the scent, enjoy the scent and wear it with no regrets.

I hope I never have to contemplate wearing and being the fragrance of God.  I never want to be responsible for someone perishing because I did not represent Christ well.  I want others to know His aroma, know I represent him and most of all, I want to wear His perfume.  That can only take place when I walk with Him in complete unity.

Wear the perfume!

For we are to be the fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing. To the one we are an aroma that brings death; and to the other, an aroma that brings life.  2 Corinthians 2:15-16

Stop Kicking

The other morning I was trying to apply my make-up.  I have a circular magnified mirror attached to my vanity mirror in my bathroom.  As I began to apply it, I noticed that I had to lean my body to the right to access the magnified mirror.  Something on the floor was in my way.  I tried kicking it out of the way but it wouldn't budge.  I continued to apply mascara still leaning to my right because whatever was on the floor was getting in my way.  I would lean to the right then straighten up as my make-up was to my left.  I did this enough times that my side finally hurt doing it.  The way to avoid that was to move what was on the floor.  Instead, I continued to to kick without looking down to see what it was.

When I finally looked down to move it, I discovered what it was that was preventing me from properly using my mirror.  It was my bible.  My bible is no small thing.  It is a large print bible so it's double the size.  You see, in the morning when I wake up-especially when I am teaching, I go to the bathroom floor to do my devotion.  I turn on the light, close the door and proceed with my devotion so I don't wake my husband. I usually sit on the floor with a pillow at my back.  When I have prayed, I simply move my bible and jump in the shower.  This time, I must have moved the bible and it landed in front of the vanity.

When I discovered it was my bible, this thought emerged: "How many times do we kick our bible to the curb without physically kicking it?"  There are excuses like "It's too late, I'm too tired, I'll do it tomorrow, I went to church so I don't have to read the bible today."  I ask this because these are all excuses I have found myself using.

If we would only remember that the Word of God is our greatest weapon against the enemy, I think we would keep it close and learn it.  Don't make that mistake.  Don't go into battle without the weapon that can help defeat the enemy.  He is afraid of the one true God and when we fight him with "it is written" he can not win!

So if you're kicking your bible out of the way, either literally or mentally, consider that it is your weapon in spiritual warfare and stop kicking!

Jesus said to him "Away from me Satan!"For it is written: Worship the Lord your God, and serve Him only." Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him. Matthew 4:10-11

Ferrari

The other day my son called me and asked "Mom, can we pray?" What an awesome feeling that is too hear that from one of your kids.  I had always been the initiator, I was the one who always asked that question. My heart swelled with warmth at the request. First he shared his heart, then we prayed. I prayed first, thanking God for the awesome work  He is doing in our son's life. Then, our son prayed and it was the most sincere, humbling prayer I've ever heard.

We joined in spirit as we prayed.  My heart was full.  Then for one split second, I was distracted as I heard him say "take this old truck and turn it into a Ferrari."  My thought was this: "he does have a truck but it's not old, and really God, he's asking for a a Ferrari?"  The air was sucked out of my lungs at the thought. For that split second  I allowed the enemy to distract me from the prayer. Had I stayed in that distraction, I would have missed him saying how much he loved the Lord and the opportunity of ministry he had been given. I would have missed him saying "Take this  old truck (him) and turn it into a Ferrari (a priceless servant of God)!

When I came to that understanding I was humbled. There comes a time when we have to let go. We have to leave things of the past in the past. If we continue to be that "old truck" just barely making it through without recharging, without re-fueling and without restoring, it (we) will eventually break down.  But when we give our life to God completely, he turns us into something that will be polished, brand new, and priceless. 

I thank God for those of you that took the time to speak into this child's life. I thank those of you who have prayed for this child and have contributed to his growth in loving Christ. Most of all, I thank my Heavenly Father for doing a work that is turning an old truck into a Ferrari.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, and the new has come!
2 Corinthians 5:17

My Child

With a career in law enforcement,  at 37 years of age I had pretty much resigned to the idea that I would never have a biological child. God saw different.  When I had my son, it was pretty much decided that his name would be Matthew...Child of God. I loved the meaning of the name.  When he was four years old, I came to know what it meant to give your child over to God.  Hannah in the old testament was also granted a child and at two years old, she gave Samuel to God.  I gave my son to God but "got to keep him."

All of his life, I have tried to teach him a Godly way.  We have prayed together, read God's Word together and gone to church together.  Then comes the time when you have to let them go.  While I feared him leaving and being on his own, I knew that God would take care of him.  We as parents can only go so far then it's between them and God. 

This summer, my son decided to attend a Campus Outreach event called Project 2016. He was supported by many friends including a mentor, a teacher, a pastor, and family members.  We visited him this week and were amazed at his growth and commitment to sharing the Word of God.

Today, he called me and we spoke for about 45 minutes.  I could sense the spirit of the Lord as  he shared his passion for a lost soul he works with.  I had never heard such commitment to making a difference.  I had never had a conversation with him where he quoted scripture and spoke of ministering to the lost and leading others to Christ.  In essence, I could tell Christ had touched his heart.

After our discussion, I prayed and then he prayed.  Parents, let me tell you....there is nothing that compares to a child at the foot of the cross praying for lost souls.  Many of my friends have had this all their life, we have not.  We often worshiped at different services, sometimes different days, and even different churches but the truth of it is you need to be an example and you need to trust God.
We are honored at the man of God our boy is becoming and we pray that God will take him and use him to his glory!

I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him.  So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord. 1 Samuel 1:27 

Pay Attention

Pay Attention.  I have found myself saying those words often.  Sometimes with an exclamation point at the end of the two words.  Pay attention when you cross the street, pay attention in class, pay attention to the instructions.  It has brought me to ask myself "What area am I not paying attention in?"

My youngest son is embarking on a journey that is new to me.  He has generated a letter that I want to change.  I want to add, change, correct, and then send.  Yet, I have found that I simply need to pay attention in this area.  This morning while reading God's Word, I was hit with this:

My son, pay attention to what I say; turn your ears to my words. [Proverbs 4:20]

So...you know what I did?  I took a picture and sent it to my son.  I sent it to him because it said my son and I wanted him to remember that we often get distracted and we need to pay attention.  We need to remain faithful and in God's Word.  Yet as I continued reading, I realized that the pay attention message was for me!

It was like God was telling me "Pay Attention Dee.  This is your son's journey not yours.  I gave him the words for that letter so don't change it!"  Wow!  What an eye opener.  As I have watched moms in the past years post their son's transition from high school to college or real life, I walked that walk with them.  I call them my KPark moms.  We had to let go.

Today, that son has completed his junior year in college.  As I watch my friend Shelly West post pictures of her beautiful daughter, I have seen "momma proud pictures" of her amazing art work and journey as a senior in high school.  The tears flow as I recall being there three years ago.  To Shelly I say "we have been there, we stand with you."

Today God tells me Pay Attention Momma! I need to pay attention and remember that this is HIS journey.  I couldn't be more proud that he has chosen to serve God.  I will continue to pray that I will pay attention and not interfere with God's plan.

I ask that you join me in praying for all our sons and daughters that have left home or will be leaving home and that we as parents pay attention in being faithful to seriously lifting up to our Savior.  Oh and Pay Attention-don't get in their way...especially if they are following Christ!

My son, pay attention to what I say, turn your ear to my words.  Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to one's whole body.  Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.  Proverbs 4:20-23

Six Words

Yesterday my devotion spoke about six words.  I love to talk and I could never say what I have to say in six words...or so I thought.  I read my devotion and realized just how many times only six words are used.  When God chose David, he referred to him as "A man after my own heart."  Paul described Timothy as "My true son in the faith" and regarding Mary, mother of Jesus, "The virgin shall be with child."

So, it took it upon myself to find the six words that spoke of me in my life-it wasn't easy!  Would they be "Not an easy person to love" or "Lost in my own little world" or even "In this world without a care."  I hoped not!   While those six word phrases might at some point describe me, I hoped for better. 

So I sought out my six words.  I came up with these there six word phrases:

• Create in me a pure heart [Psalms 51:10]
• Here am I, send me Lord. [Isaiah 6:8]
• Her children will call her blessed. [Psalm 31]

What poignant words.  How do I represent those six words?  Do my actions reflect a pure heart?  Am I kind, caring, sensitive?  Am I really always ready to say "send me?"  Am I willing to leave the comforts of my own home, my family or my life, in order to follow God's command?  Am I willing?

Take time today to sit back and reflect on six words that describe you.  Are you "A shining light for the Lord?" or "Sitting back hoping things will happen."

The Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

Our Daily Bread Devotion Collection (2014) Grand Rapids, MI: Discovery House Publishing

Sweet fragrance

This past summer, while on a cruise ship, I had the opportunity to smell Chanel's Coco perfume.  I had only smelled it on my niece and have never purchased it before.  When I saw the price, I knew why.  I recall saying to my husband "I'M not paying 125.00 for a small bottle of perfume!"  So I left without it. 


February was my birthday and I received several gift cards to Macy's.  As we strolled through the store, I hit the perfume counter.  My husband commented on the perfume and I again stated that it cost too much.  This time however, I had all my gift cards.  We examined the bottles and the sizes, which was a better deal and whether or not I really wanted the perfume.  Of course I did...I just didn't want to pay that much for it. 


After we made all the calculations, we decided that if I did purchase it, the larger bottle would be the better deal.  I reached into my purse and counted my gift cards and handed them to her.  In the end, my total payment was 25.00.  What a deal.  All my family had purchased this perfume for me and it smelled "delicious."  My husband loved the smell, I loved it and we were set. 


It had such a unique smell that I can't even describe.  It was sweet yet gentle, it was strong yet not overbearing.  I loved it and felt like everyone I passed knew exactly what I was wearing.  That reminded me of one of my favorite verses.  It made me question "In my Christian walk, what do I smell like?"  Do I exude a fragrance of Christ or a stench of the world?  My prayer is that as I walk past other, the smell lingers like the sweet fragrance of Jesus Christ.


When we walk with God, we leave behind a sweet fragrance that can inspire others to follow (Our Daily Bread 2016).


But thanks be to God, who always leads us as captives in Christ's triumphal procession and uses us to spread the aroma of the knowledge of him everywhere.  For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. 2 Corinthians 2:14-15

I have hidden your word in my heart

Years ago, during Vacation Bible School, I memorized Psalm 119:11  I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.  I probably learned as I read the pledge allegiance  to the Bible.  I have always believed in this verse.  It is the ammunition to our armor mentioned in Ephesians 6.  this morning as I opened my bible to my devotion I realized that this was part of the readings.  What I didn't realize is the impact of the verses preceding it.

I have often been asked about purity.  When I read these scriptures, they really spoke to my own life. 
(V9) How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word.  (V10) I seek you with all my heart do not let me stray from your commands.

I have to admit I don't recall reading that before but it is a great introduction to verse 11.  How do we remain on the path of purity?  This does not end with a young person.  It carries over to our entire lives for the rest of our life. 

We don't need reminders when we get off track.  I don't know about you but as hard as the enemy works to side track me, the Holy Spirit works to keep me grounded.  It is a no brainer.  If you love Jesus, if you are committed to Jesus, if you are loyal to Jesus, this prompting will speak to you.  When I was younger, I recall making some decisions that only took one question to determine whether or not I had crossed the line.  The question was "What would dad think if he knew I was doing this?"  The same rings true for our heavenly Father.

How do we  fight the urge, the temptation, the taunting?  By hiding His Word in our heart that we may tap into that when we become the enemy's target.   We have to first seek Him with all our heart and combine that with living according to His word so that we do not stray from His commands. 

It was refreshing to read that this morning.  I am content.  I am full.  I pray that I will live according to His Word but in order to do that, I must first read His Word them commit to hiding His Word in my heart.

Run the race

Good morning.  It has been a long while, I know. Being a doctoral candidate, supporting my brother's election, keeping up with kids and a husband, and tending to a new puppy has kept me pretty busy.  I have now relaxed from one of those things but must speak about it.

My brother was a candidate for Harris County Constable Precinct 3. He ran an impeccable race.  My father and I, being the two retired, witnessed much of the process.  We were at polls for all of early voting.  We, as a family, were at my brother's side when he made this decision a year ago. We made the decision to run a clean, fair race with character as the foundation.

There were nine candidates in the race and this was my brother's first go at it.  Many of the others had run before.  Each time I saw my brother I saw a qualified, loyal, ardent individual.  He didn't need a job, he is an investigator for Harris County District Attorney's Office.  He wanted to make a difference.  While other candidates had the time to be at the polls, my brother did not.  He continued to serve the citizens. 

This week, my Pastor, Dr. Ed Young, gave an amazing sermon with an introduction of integrity, service and character to those we choose as leaders.  It left an abiding impact in my heart as I knew my brothers election race was Tuesday. 

On several days at early voting, my father and I witnessed actions contrary to the laws of integrity but aligned with the laws of human nature.  We heard name calling, accusations, challenges, showboating, allegations of wrong doing, shouting, cursing and so much more.  We witnessed printed derogatory material, a particular candidate yelling at an employee of the library where they were graciously allowing them to vote, pushing the envelope just a little until it became an all out war,  and so much more. 

We were so confident in our candidate.  What else could the community want?  A dedicated servant who served in law enforcement over 26 years and now serves the community in the DA's office. A beaming record with numerous awards for service. I was often asked "Do you really think your brother will win?" My response was often "We serve a God that parted the red sea, that opened the heavens with rain, that rescued Daniel from the Lion's den-is anything impossible for him?"

My daily devotions were aligned with endless possibilities of Gideon, Joshua, Caleb and giants.  Nothing is impossible for our God but I must say that our prayer was "but if not" [Daniel 3:19], let us still continue to glorify our God. And so we have.  He did not win the race but he kept his character and integrity. There is a second part to this election story.   Throughout the race,  I was met by individuals that thought "being good" would get them to heaven.  I was put in a position to tell them that only believing in the Lord Jesus Christ would get them eternal life.  Many of these workers from other teams were individuals that were paid and had never met the candidate, we knew ours and we knew his heart.  We knew the God we believe in and he put us there to impact lives not to win a race.

My father, our patriarch, led the way.  His love for his son led him to stand countless hours [as did I] holding signs that said vote for our candidate.  My father was up early and stayed late.  The reward in that was the endless people that complimented us on our brothers character and our example.  Oh don't get me wrong, we were not faultless.  The poor show of respect prompted us to want to cross that line and we had a heart to heart that ended something like this...."Are we going to trust God like we have been saying or will we let them win out?"  The defeat was difficult only because we saw the ill actions of others, but we are content in God's final say.  We lost the race but one lost soul won over is a greater victory!

I will give thanks to you O my God with all my heart, I will glorify your name forever. Psalms 86:12

I glorified you on earth, having accomplished the work which you have given me to do. John 17:4

I have run the race, I have fought the fight, I have kept the faith. 2 Timothy 4:7

The Consequences of Sin

The other day I heard some news that kind of surprised me.  I really didn't know how to feel.  I was shocked that an individual with so much potential would ruin it by getting involved in a bar fight.  I was saddened that this individual would not be able to be a part of something he had worked so hard to accomplish,  Most of all, I was surprised that he was not allowed to play in one of the most important games of his career.

"TCU quarterback Trevone Boykin has been suspended for Saturday's Alamo Bowl after he was arrested following a bar fight early Thursday morning, head coach Garry Patterson announced."

To see the face of this individual as he apologized to his team, his coach and even his family was heartbreaking.  It was obvious that he was remorseful, he was sad and he regretted his actions.  I hated to see this happen to him.  He asked for forgiveness for his actions and stressed his shame.

While the team forgave him, the consequences of his actions remained.  Normally, I would not have watched this college game.  In fact, when TCU trailed Oregon by 31 at halftime, I should have turned the television off, but unfortunately,  I was one of those who regretfully believed that the entire foundation of the success of this team was Boykin.  Why couldn't I turn the game off?  My husband was long asleep and it was 9:30pm,  already past my bedtime. Instead, I held on and continued to watch.  Of course my first thought was that TCU would not be able to recover from this great deficit.

After half time, the team not only came back, they went into overtime....three times.  The team that I had expected would lose because they were not playing their star quarterback had won with a back up. One would think that the consequences of Boykin's sin would be that the team would lose.  That was not the consequence.  A young man by the name of Bram Kohlhausen led the team to victory.

Although Boykin asked for forgiveness for his sin, he had to live with the consequences of that sin. He was not allowed to play in his final TCU game and could not honorably wear the TCU Jersey.  It doesn't mean he wasn't forgiven, it just means that those were the consequences of that sin.  

So many times we may ask God to forgive us our sin and when things don't go our way,  we question whether he forgave us or not.  For example, if an individual embezzles money from a company and they ask for forgiveness, the employer may forgive him.  However, the employer can fire them as a result of the theft.  Does not mean he didn't forgive them, It just means that the consequence of the sin was termination.

I know that Boykin learned a hard lesson but I pray that he finds comfort in God's forgiveness and does not dwell on the consequences of sin,

He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.  For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.  Psalms 103:9-12





Sports Illustrated (2015) TCU QB Trevone Boykin suspended for Alamo Bowl after Arrest. Posted December 31, 2015

Mercy or Justice

While in Miami, my niece and her husband Ralph took me to breakfast.  He bragged about what a neat restaurant this was and how good the food was so I was excited to experience it.  We sat and enjoyed our meal and finished with the Spanish word for a "rich" meal-rico!


The restaurant was quaint and in a small space.  It was actually located inside an area in a store.  As we prepared to leave, I decided I would go to the restroom.  They  waited at the table.  When I returned, I truly must have had a bad case of "bubble head" that one experiences after 50.  I walked back to their table and in my bubble, I accidentally bumped into a table where two ladies were sitting waiting on their party.  They had two connecting tables and as I hit the corner, it tapped into the other table knocking over two full glasses of water and some coffee.


It was one of those moments where you just want to be invisible.  The water went all over a lady's nice dress.  What happened next seemed to take place in slow motion, I saw the lady pull her wet cell phone out of her purse.  She then proceeded to take each wet item out of her purse.  Since her purse was sitting on the chair, it took the brunt of the water.  When she had pulled everything out and was drying it, I took her purse and literally poured half a glass of water out of it.  I was embarrassed and felt so bad. 


I pleaded with the lady to forgive me.  Then, in private, I asked the waitress for their check.  She responded with an abrupt "They haven't ordered yet!"  I then told her that I would wait until they ordered and she replied "They aren't going to order before you leave they are waiting on a party of six."  It was then that I realized that I would get no mercy from the waitress.


Remorsefully, I went to the lady.  I apologized beyond belief.  I asked her to forgive me, told her I would comp her meal all to no avail.  She would have no part of me paying.  She simply said in Spanish, "No problem, it happens, don't worry about it."  What?  Mercy-for me?  I deserved her calling me out.  I deserved her being mad or cursing or calling me names....but that didn't happen.


We reluctantly left as the waitress mopped the excess water from the floor.  As I walked through the store, my niece stated "that's how people are around here."  I was so appreciative that she had extended mercy and not made a bigger scene than I had made by spilling all the water.


As I begged for mercy, I examined myself.  I told my niece that I feared I would have responded differently.  Having just left church, I feared that I would have gasped and maybe lost my temper.  I would not have been a good reflection of the fruits of the spirit.  It confirmed in me that I want mercy extended when it's my mistake but don't often extend mercy when I'm the one offended. 


I didn't need to be told what I already but this was a lesson learned.  It taught me to be more Christ like and leave a Christian impression rather than to focus on a wet phone.  If I could, I would have comp her meal.  Today, I would say thank you for not publically humiliating more than I had done to myself, thank you for your compassion and mercy. 


Having said that, how many times does God extend mercy and we take it for granted.  Never   humbling ourselves to him, never saying thank you, never asking for forgiveness?  I fail thank God enough for the mercy He extends to me.  Today, I chose to say thank you. 


Thank you Father for extending me mercy rather than the justice I deserve.


Blessed are the merciful for they shall be shown mercy.  Matthew 5:7

He won't let go

Recently I watch my great niece as her daddy placed her on his shoulders.  She was so comfortable.  She loved being that high and giggled as he twirled her around.  They went up and down, turned around, swayed and danced all while she sat on his shoulders. 


During one of those times, she became too comfortable and leaned back unable to bring herself back up.  Her father had her by the legs and we all knew that she would not fall.  The incident left her uncomfortable and she began to whine.  Her dad responded "Why are you whining?  You're the one that went too far back, I was holding you.  I wasn't going to let go."


It reminded of how I am so happy, joyful, smiling when all is good.  I'm thanking God for being so good to me and yes, I might even twirl around in gratefulness.  Today however, I found myself whining.  "Why all these attacks? Why was my dad injured in this accident?  Why is a job situation so challenging?  Why are we being tested?  Why all this spiritual warfare?"  All the while remembering the verse Do not be anxious about anything [Philippians 4:6]


This morning when I read that, I read the message God intended me to read.  First was rejoice [v4].
In your dancing, rejoice.  Although things may be tough through your eyes....rejoice!  Then it tells us something very important The Lord is near [V5].  Just like her daddy was holding little Victoria, our God is holding us.  Even when we feel like we are falling, He has a hold on us and will not let go.  Dads don't let go because they love us and our Father will not let because He loves us too. Then comes verse 6-the one everyone quotes "Do not be anxious about anything-but..." It is what follows that "but" that is important also.  But...in everything, be prayerful and with thanksgiving present your requests to God.


Don't be anxious, be prayerful, present your requests to God.  He will not let go.  Not only that, when you truly trust him, you'll receive a peace that transcends all understanding.  Our struggles may sometimes feel so heavy but God offers a peace beyond all other simply because he won't let go.


Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again, Rejoice.  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4: 4-7

I want Jesus

Recently I visited my niece in Miami, Florida.  We attended church Sunday morning with her husband and her two and a half year old daughter, Victoria.  It was a wonderful service and wonderful time.  Afterwards, we stopped to partake of the festivities including photo ops throughout the church.


After lunch, we went to her sister-in-law's house to visit a brand new baby and to take more photos, this time for the family Christmas card.  Of course, you know that when you have a plan, if a child is involved, it may not come to be.  Victoria was suddenly taken by the Christmas tree but more  distracted by a baby in a cradle lying under the Christmas tree.  She picked it up and was quickly told that it was baby Jesus.  We also learned that it had been in the family for many, many years and had been passed down to my niece's brother-in-law.


In order to protect the precious heirloom, we attempted to take it from Victoria to no avail.  She immediately began saying "I want Jesus, I want Jesus!"  We would of course return it to her to calm the shouts but we found ourselves delicately following her around so that she would not drop it.  When the time came for the family to pose for the Christmas picture, momma told Victoria that she would have to put Jesus down.  "No momma, I want Jesus-I want Jesus!"


Daddy took his turn again, with no success.  Brother-in-law explained that it was fragile and that it was old and that it was special but Victoria kept insisting "I want Jesus."  Just about that time, our greatest fear came true.  Victoria got off  her chair and ran to another room clutching her Jesus.
We finally took Jesus from Victoria and with large tears and a sorrowful voice she cried "I  waaaaaaaant Jesus."  The only way to pacify her was to give her Jesus.  Of course by now with the crooked bow and red eyes,  there was no chance of taking a photo and the Christmas cards would just be late.  However, there was no greater joy than watching Victoria's desire to hold Jesus.   Watching her adore the Jesus triggered a thought...what if we wanted Jesus as much as Victoria wanted him.

We often pass through trials, failures, challenges and yet we don't hold on to Jesus.  We don't cry out for him, we don't long to just sit and spend time with him.  Jesus said "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these" [Matthew 19:14]. I was learning a great lesson from Victoria.  I wanted Jesus as much as Victoria did.  I longed to be with him and talk to him and spend time with him.  The difference was that we were all trying to prevent Victoria from doing that.  The only one stopping me is me. 


So this week, as you travel to your days counting down the days of celebrating our Savior's birth, I pray that you too will say "I want Jesus." 


Oh God, you are my God, earnestly I will seek you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.  Psalms 63:1

Someone paid the price

Yesterday my husband and I were driving home through the back roads.  He simply asked "Should we go by?"  Of course I said yes.  Yes, let's drive by dad's house.  Today, as I drove back from Huntsville, I stopped at the stop sign on Hamblen Road and asked myself the same question "Should I drive by?" We ask ourselves if we should drive by my father-in-law's house.  We finally sold it a couple of weeks ago so I guess in essence, it's no longer paw paw's house...or ours.


When I asked myself that question I heard a resounding "No!" I heard in my mind "Let it go."  Why do we keep going back there?  We just drive by to see the new boxes and the unfamiliar cars parked in our driveway.  We go by to see new furniture through the undraped windows and trailer that hauls the boxes and we realize we no longer have the freedom to just walk in, we no longer have the right to call it our own anymore.


We do the same thing with our past.  Instead of moving on like God would have us do, we want to keep going back to the past, back to what was comfortable. We don't want to move on.  That place was comfortable.  We want to see what would have happened if we had stayed there. We just want to take a peek and remember how comfortable we were there.  We have to remember that some one paid for that house and it's not ours anymore.


Over two thousand years ago God paid the price for our sins.  He paid the price and he took it.  It is no longer ours.  Our sins are our own...our darkness, our faults, our failures-the price was paid and they no longer belong to us.  So let go.  Like me and my husband, some of you keep wanting to go back, maybe just to take a look, maybe just to wallow in memories of times past but God has taught that it is no longer ours.  Someone paid the price.


But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8 

Hiding Place

Sunday, I got a call from my father.  It was around 3:30pm.  He stated that a lady was at their house and she explained that she was a victim of domestic violence.  My father is a deacon at his church and my mom was home.  I told him that I would be there in ten minutes.  We had already settled in and were watching the game but I had to go help dad. 


When I arrived I spoke to the lady who I knew from the neighborhood.  Her injuries were serious.  She explained the situation, I called for medical attention and the proper authorities.  Her son was with her and she explained the fear of trying to protect her children. She stated "I didn't know where to go....the only place I knew I would be safe is with your parents."


It was a draining two hours.  Once she was checked out and the police did their thing, she drove herself to urgent care.  I told my parents I was leaving and they headed to Sunday night services.  As I drove back home, I began thinking of where we go to hide when we need a hiding place.  She drove to my parents house because she knew they are God fearing people.  She knew where she would be safe. 


When I need a hiding place, I go to the cross.  I hide my face in the place where I find my comfort, security, and solace.  I thank God that he sent his son to die on the cross so that I might have a hiding place.  What is your hiding place?


You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. Psalm 32:7 

First Question

I have often heard of individuals looking for a biological parent or siblings.  They are often asked "What will be your first question to them?"  That's fair.  I would also wonder what one's first question would be when they located their biological family.


Today, I was driving to the store when my thoughts went to a magazine.  It is a magazine that I have been receiving for about a year.  It comes with a 20% coupon or some promotional item for free.  I did not order this magazine but it arrived at my house every month.  In fact, it didn't even come to ME!  It came under a different individual's name.  When I first received it and I saw the name on it, I thought "Why would anyone do that?" 


It was a woman's magazine and every time I received it, I ripped it in pieces and threw it away.  Month after month I would shake my head in disgust and tear up the magazine.  I recognized the name on the magazine but it was sent to my address.  I just didn't understand someone's meanness in doing that.  I eventually called the company and asked them not to send any more magazines to my home.  I could have given them the address of the person whose name was on the label but that is not me.  I cancelled it weeks ago.


Today, as I drove to the store that came to my mind.   I thought to myself "When I get to heaven, my first question to God is going to be 'why did that person do that to me?"' I just wanted God to tell me why someone would be so mean spirited?  The more I thought of it, the more it ruled me.  My attitude changed and I found myself actually saying "I'm gonna ask God....I sure am!"


Then the gravity of what I was saying hit me.  I thought of that song I Bowed on My Knees and Cried Holy.  It talks of the artist seeing Abraham, Jacob and Isaac, he saw Paul and Timothy-but he said I want to see Jesus, the one who died for me. 


Really?  I finally get to see the one who died for me and my first question is "Who sent those magazines to my house?" It is amazing how we can be humbled when reality hits.  How superficial of me.  Does it matter who did that?  Not when I'm standing in the presence of my Savior.  Instead of asking that question, I am sure I will revel in the majesty of being surrounded by holiness. 


It doesn't matter who did it or what their intent was, it's done, it's cancelled, it's over.  So in re-grouping and thinking of a "first question" I thought of this.  If I have a first question for anyone it should be "Do you know our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and will you meet Him when your life is over?"  Now that's an important first question!


When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi he asked his disciples, "Who do people say the Son of Man is? They replied "Some say John the Baptist others say Elijah: and still others Jeremiah or one of the prophets." "But what about you?" he asked, "Who do you say I am?"  Simon Peter answered, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God."   Matthew 16:13-16




(c) 2001, Steve Emerson Music-I Bowed on My Knees and Cried Holy/Gaither Vocal

Wait for it....Wait for it....BAM

These past few weeks I have been so excited.  I have been so close to an A in my Leadership Class of my doctorate program.  The first class I completly bombed it.  I was fortunate enough to walk away from that class with a C.  This week I had a presentation due and I was so excited.  My average was 89.56 and this project was what was going to kick me into that ever elusive A.


I woke up this morning and for some reason my phone was dinging that I had a message.  It was a not yet 5 AM for heaven's sake.  I opened the message and discovered my grade.  It was not at all what I wanted or expected.  My heart sank.  Once again, my A alluded me. My 89 average had dropped to an 85 and with this being the last week, there was no way I could make it up. 


Bummed.  B-U-M-M-E-D! One might ask "Why is this so important?"  It is important to me because I have attached my grade to my worth.  Isn't that silly?  Silly but true.  The greater my grade, the greater my worth - in my mind. I have had friends be really supportive through this venture but none of that can erase my insecurities.   Is it because I never had a high GPA in school?  Is it because I graduated with honors in my Master's Program therefore I have high expectations?  I don't know the answer to that.  I only know that I feel like this is the path God called me to and this is the path I'll take.  This I do know, God would never attach my worth to a grade yet I continue to do so. 


With this class behind me, I can only wait to see what the next one brings.  Waiting...such a difficult process.  It can be no coincidence that my devotions this week have been on waiting.  Isaiah 40:31 "Those who wait on the Lord...." wait, wait, wait.  How long do I have to wait.  That is one of my primary downfalls-impatience.  The rest of that verse says "...shall renew their strength.  They shall soar on wings like eagles.   They shall run and not grow weary."   


You may have to wait for something you are praying about but in the end, your strength will be renewed.  God has really spoken to me this week about this subject.  Like most of us, I want it now.  Wait for it, for at the appointed time, God will reveal it to you.  Don't give up.  Just wait for it.


For the revelation awaits an appointed time, it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.  Habakkuk 2:3