There are many things we can do without looking. For instance, I could not be accurate at target practice if I didn't have my eyes open. In fact, that could be dangerous. I couldn't dust, wash dishes, or do laundry without looking. All of those could have costly results.
However, one of the things I can do best without looking is type. There are times that I can read a script and re-type it without looking at the keys. I know the keys so well that my eyes seldom leave the script. I can type emails, letters, poems, documents and never look at the keys. I have been typing since I was sixteen years old and the "asdf/jkl;" are ingrained in my brain. I can see them in my mind and know all the other letters that surround those core keys. That is not to say that I don't ever make a mistake.
What it does mean is that I know the keys so well that I immediately know when I make a mistake. It just "doesn't feel right." Coincidently, as I type, I am looking at my dogs on my bed. No script, no looking at the keys, just typing as I watch them play.
That is how well I long to know the Word of God. I need to know it so well that when someone needs a prayer or a word, I can immediately go to it in my head because it is in my heart. No looking, just knowing! There are scriptures on healing, power, love, salvation, and while I do not know each reference, I bask in the opportunity to learn it.
Knowing where each key is did not happen overnight. It took years of practice. Years of typing, multi-tasking, and practice. I carried on many conversations making eye contact with an individual all the while typing a report or document. Simply knowing where all the keys are located is not enough. I have to put them together in order to make sense of what I am typing.
Learning God's Word does not "just happen." One must spend time in it. Often I go back to scripture I have read before and said "Oh Yeah, I remember that." I have my own sense of how to learn God's Word. The first step is I must be in it! I can visualize where on the page it is, left side or right side, I can visualize columns, and then I can visualize the scripture, but it takes time.
One day, I want to know God's Word so well that I can go to any scripture...without looking.
How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart, that I may not sin against you.
Psalms 119:9-11
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Thursday, March 29, 2012
The End
I don't know what it was but something prompted me to call HR earlier this week. When I did, I had a discussion with the personnel and the decision was made that now was the time to completely sever my position with my organization.
I knew this day would come. The previous year's "retirement" had been fun but financially, I had a decision to make that would protect me for years to come. Now was the time. I have known that for a couple of days but was still not ready. Not sure why, just not ready. I entered my closet and removed every uniform I had in my possession, my gunbelt, my pins, my badges-it all had to go back.
As I removed the uniforms, I saw a huge void in my closet. It saddened me. I was losing an identitiy I have know for thirty years. I quickly closed the door. I proceeded to another closet for more uniforms, jackets, equipment and again, sorrow. I could not do it all at once and I had to lay everything out in the spare bedroom.
This morning, I had to load it all. I had to pack it into my vehicle to turn it in. As I drove downtown I reminisced of the years past. All the friends I lost, those we buried, those who were at one time or another my partners, those that I spent more time with that my own family. Many became my family and I theirs. We knew each other's children, parents and friends.
As I arrived, I encountered a man who had once been my Lieutenant. Through teary eyes I explained how I felt like I was losing my identity. I have always been attached to this badge, this uniform, this organization. He explained that there is much more. I corrected myself and told him that I realize my true identity is in Christ but this will leave a void.
I later proceeded to turn in my equipment. I was greeted with a stoic "hello." I had already been lost in the population. No title, no reference, barely a hello. At one point I carried so much that I dropped a jacket and there was no effort to help. I turned in my equipment and I quickly saw my gunbelt disassembled. My night stick ring was tossed into a basket, my holster identified as "excellent" and my flashlight holder also marked for assignment to a "new-bie." My belt worn from the years tossed for disposal.
I left there feeling stripped of my identity. I left feeling empty. I was quickly rescued by my husband and a former partner who took me to lunch. My spirits quickly lifted by two very special people in my life. As I close the chapter in my life, I can not help but think of what God has in store for me. This is not the end...it is only the beginning.
For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. They are plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
I have been cricified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. Galatians 2:20
I knew this day would come. The previous year's "retirement" had been fun but financially, I had a decision to make that would protect me for years to come. Now was the time. I have known that for a couple of days but was still not ready. Not sure why, just not ready. I entered my closet and removed every uniform I had in my possession, my gunbelt, my pins, my badges-it all had to go back.
As I removed the uniforms, I saw a huge void in my closet. It saddened me. I was losing an identitiy I have know for thirty years. I quickly closed the door. I proceeded to another closet for more uniforms, jackets, equipment and again, sorrow. I could not do it all at once and I had to lay everything out in the spare bedroom.
This morning, I had to load it all. I had to pack it into my vehicle to turn it in. As I drove downtown I reminisced of the years past. All the friends I lost, those we buried, those who were at one time or another my partners, those that I spent more time with that my own family. Many became my family and I theirs. We knew each other's children, parents and friends.
As I arrived, I encountered a man who had once been my Lieutenant. Through teary eyes I explained how I felt like I was losing my identity. I have always been attached to this badge, this uniform, this organization. He explained that there is much more. I corrected myself and told him that I realize my true identity is in Christ but this will leave a void.
I later proceeded to turn in my equipment. I was greeted with a stoic "hello." I had already been lost in the population. No title, no reference, barely a hello. At one point I carried so much that I dropped a jacket and there was no effort to help. I turned in my equipment and I quickly saw my gunbelt disassembled. My night stick ring was tossed into a basket, my holster identified as "excellent" and my flashlight holder also marked for assignment to a "new-bie." My belt worn from the years tossed for disposal.
I left there feeling stripped of my identity. I left feeling empty. I was quickly rescued by my husband and a former partner who took me to lunch. My spirits quickly lifted by two very special people in my life. As I close the chapter in my life, I can not help but think of what God has in store for me. This is not the end...it is only the beginning.
For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. They are plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
I have been cricified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. Galatians 2:20
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Happy Anniversary
Today is my 9th wedding anniversary. Some might call it my second wedding anniversary. On March 28, 2010, my husband and I re-newed our wedding vows. Not that we weren't still bound by our original vows, we just wanted a fresh reminder.
God created the institution of marriage with the intent of it lasting a lifetime. "For richer, for poorer, for better or worse, in sickness or health, til death us do part..." Those are pretty extreme. No in between. Sick could be a cold or a terminal disease. Some days are better than others and this is not limited to mood. There are books and tapes, CD's and workshops, all with direction on various marriage subjects.
A prominent question is "when your marriage hits a bump, how are you going to react?" What is going to spill out of your heart and into your relationship? No CD in the world is going to "make it better." But God does give direction.
There are several things mentioned in Ephesians 5. The first is found in verse 22. "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord." That is difficult in a society where the workforce employs more and more women. Particularily women in positions of power and status. The Second is found in verse 23. "For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body of which he is the Savior." Sometimes I have found myself needing this reminder. Coming from an occupation highly reliant on a chain-of-comand, I totally understand this one. Understanding is different from accepting. This one requires work for me.
Another huge issue today is the issue of respect. So many times we demonstrate respect to our boss or a co-worker much more than we do to our spouse. A second issue is that of "quality time." Our society has moved to a virtual world where "time spent" is limited to an email or text throughout the day. Daily you see couples at dinner and inevitably a spouse, will display an iphone or blackberry leaving the other party speechless. Usually the "this will just take a second" will turn into the entire dinner.
I have found it important to read material and surround myself first and foremost with the Word of God. As a couple. we also have the exact same devotional book not only to help with accountability but also to see how God speaks to us with each of us reading the same material. I have also found Gary Thomas' Sacred Marriage to be very beneficial.
We also spend alot of time together. Our discussions are deeper and I totally appreciate his input when I am preparing a lesson or reading a particular portion of scripture. Lastly, there is something to be said about your husband praying for you. This is something that we fell out of practice and it became very costly. Today, it is refreshing to have my husband pray for me. It is comforting and puts me under the security of my spiritual leader.
Marriage is not an agreement, it's not a contract, it's not a pact...it is a covenant before God. In marriage, promises may be broken, friends may fail you, money may never be enough, and time together may be ellusive. The idea is to keep your eye on the foundation of your marriage and remember that marriage is a covenant!
Happy Anniversary
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12
God created the institution of marriage with the intent of it lasting a lifetime. "For richer, for poorer, for better or worse, in sickness or health, til death us do part..." Those are pretty extreme. No in between. Sick could be a cold or a terminal disease. Some days are better than others and this is not limited to mood. There are books and tapes, CD's and workshops, all with direction on various marriage subjects.
A prominent question is "when your marriage hits a bump, how are you going to react?" What is going to spill out of your heart and into your relationship? No CD in the world is going to "make it better." But God does give direction.
There are several things mentioned in Ephesians 5. The first is found in verse 22. "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord." That is difficult in a society where the workforce employs more and more women. Particularily women in positions of power and status. The Second is found in verse 23. "For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body of which he is the Savior." Sometimes I have found myself needing this reminder. Coming from an occupation highly reliant on a chain-of-comand, I totally understand this one. Understanding is different from accepting. This one requires work for me.
Another huge issue today is the issue of respect. So many times we demonstrate respect to our boss or a co-worker much more than we do to our spouse. A second issue is that of "quality time." Our society has moved to a virtual world where "time spent" is limited to an email or text throughout the day. Daily you see couples at dinner and inevitably a spouse, will display an iphone or blackberry leaving the other party speechless. Usually the "this will just take a second" will turn into the entire dinner.
I have found it important to read material and surround myself first and foremost with the Word of God. As a couple. we also have the exact same devotional book not only to help with accountability but also to see how God speaks to us with each of us reading the same material. I have also found Gary Thomas' Sacred Marriage to be very beneficial.
We also spend alot of time together. Our discussions are deeper and I totally appreciate his input when I am preparing a lesson or reading a particular portion of scripture. Lastly, there is something to be said about your husband praying for you. This is something that we fell out of practice and it became very costly. Today, it is refreshing to have my husband pray for me. It is comforting and puts me under the security of my spiritual leader.
Marriage is not an agreement, it's not a contract, it's not a pact...it is a covenant before God. In marriage, promises may be broken, friends may fail you, money may never be enough, and time together may be ellusive. The idea is to keep your eye on the foundation of your marriage and remember that marriage is a covenant!
Happy Anniversary
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
At the Feet of Jesus
On our second day at the village we were working at, it rained. A fierce rain at times. The hygene team was in a covered area so it did not affect us. However, as we prepared to walk to lunch, I could see footprints on the ground. Large footprints, small footprints, ridges from workboots and tennis shoes, flat prints from sandals, all types of footprints on the dirt.
My thought was to capture one of the small footprints but that never happened. It was interesting to see the minimal [and I do mean minimal]automobile traffic. The means of transporation used most was walking. The pace was one of comfort and convienence. No rush, no urgency, just comfort.
This morning I heard a really great song by The Swift. It was in the sequence of music I was listening to but I don't recall hearing it before. As I listened, it reminded me of our pace. How fast, and how packed our lives are. Even retired, my schedule rarely allows for a trip to the mall much less driving to Galveston and having lunch with a friend. Everything has to go on a calendar. Everything has a time limit.
As I listened to this song, I heard:
Like water in the waves that roll unendingly, I am waiting to be stilled
when you step out on the sea....At the feet of Jesus this is my place in life.
It brought to mind those that sat at Jesus feet for hours listening to his words. What has crowded our calendars, our lives so much that we can not sit at the feet of Jesus.
At the cross there is mercy for a lifetime and Oh at your feet-that is where I want, that is where I need to be.
When you sit at anyone's feet whether it's to watch TV, read a book or just talk, the conversation goes up. You are at their feet. My prayer for me to day is that I will stay at the feet of Jesus just a little bit longer than I intended to and that I will hear him speak as I allow Him to lead the way for my life.
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. Luke 10:38-40
My thought was to capture one of the small footprints but that never happened. It was interesting to see the minimal [and I do mean minimal]automobile traffic. The means of transporation used most was walking. The pace was one of comfort and convienence. No rush, no urgency, just comfort.
This morning I heard a really great song by The Swift. It was in the sequence of music I was listening to but I don't recall hearing it before. As I listened, it reminded me of our pace. How fast, and how packed our lives are. Even retired, my schedule rarely allows for a trip to the mall much less driving to Galveston and having lunch with a friend. Everything has to go on a calendar. Everything has a time limit.
As I listened to this song, I heard:
Like water in the waves that roll unendingly, I am waiting to be stilled
when you step out on the sea....At the feet of Jesus this is my place in life.
It brought to mind those that sat at Jesus feet for hours listening to his words. What has crowded our calendars, our lives so much that we can not sit at the feet of Jesus.
At the cross there is mercy for a lifetime and Oh at your feet-that is where I want, that is where I need to be.
When you sit at anyone's feet whether it's to watch TV, read a book or just talk, the conversation goes up. You are at their feet. My prayer for me to day is that I will stay at the feet of Jesus just a little bit longer than I intended to and that I will hear him speak as I allow Him to lead the way for my life.
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. Luke 10:38-40
Monday, March 26, 2012
I know your name
On Friday, the day before we returned from Guatemala, we made a trip to a local orphanage. I was pleased I was feeling better and was filled with anticipation of seeing the children. I don't know what I expected to see because I have no recollection of visiting one before. As we entered the place, we were greeted by an energetic, enthusiastic little guy.
I entered and was taken in by all the children. There were approximately 12 of us and there were plenty of children for each of us. We took turns with them. There were infants, toddlers and school aged children probably up to the age of 9 or so.
My attention went to a full faced, curly headed little girl who appeared so full of life. They played a spanish "corito" in the background and her little legs bounced to the beat of the music. As I held her, I was comforted in knowing that we all have a Father. I saw other members of my group playing on the ground with children, some giving piggy back rides, others blowing bubbles, one allowing herself to be stuck with stickers from head to toe. A new grandmother in our group was surrounded with babies much like her granddaughter while yet another took photographs and allowed the children to see themselves.
The children loved the attention and much too soon, the younger ones were taken inside to be fed. I was impressed with the idea that the workers knew the names of each child in their section. The Leader also addressed each child by their name. There were 52 children.
Our group was touched by these children who by the nature of their circumstances in life landed here. This has become a place of security, a place where they were cared for, a place where they mattered. The world may not know who they are but their heavenly Father knows each situation and He knows each child by name.
Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands... Isaiah 49: 15-16
I entered and was taken in by all the children. There were approximately 12 of us and there were plenty of children for each of us. We took turns with them. There were infants, toddlers and school aged children probably up to the age of 9 or so.
My attention went to a full faced, curly headed little girl who appeared so full of life. They played a spanish "corito" in the background and her little legs bounced to the beat of the music. As I held her, I was comforted in knowing that we all have a Father. I saw other members of my group playing on the ground with children, some giving piggy back rides, others blowing bubbles, one allowing herself to be stuck with stickers from head to toe. A new grandmother in our group was surrounded with babies much like her granddaughter while yet another took photographs and allowed the children to see themselves.
The children loved the attention and much too soon, the younger ones were taken inside to be fed. I was impressed with the idea that the workers knew the names of each child in their section. The Leader also addressed each child by their name. There were 52 children.
Our group was touched by these children who by the nature of their circumstances in life landed here. This has become a place of security, a place where they were cared for, a place where they mattered. The world may not know who they are but their heavenly Father knows each situation and He knows each child by name.
Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands... Isaiah 49: 15-16
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Just pray for me
Alas, I am back. This week my husband and I travelled with a group to Guatemala on a Living Water Mission trip. It was a great week with some great stories.
We met some of the greatest kids, made some great connections and saw a community that pulls together. We met women whose life story was told in their faces, their hands, and their feet. I will detail our journey throughout the week.
On Friday, we were scheduled to visit an orphanage. Unfortunately, I woke up with a throbbing headache that had pursued me all week. My roomates were already up and stirring around preparing for breakfast. I was still lying down as each time I tried to raise my head, it throbbed with no relief.
Everyone had left the room and my sister in Christ and friend Nancy Serrett walked back into the room, sat at my bedside and asked "Can I do anything for you?" I responded "Just pray for me." Those were all the words she needed to hear. Nancy opened her mouth and out flowed a prayer that with each word, felt like a renewing and re-energizing.
I wanted my headache to go away and new there was no doubt it would. I didn't want it to hurt because I really did not want to miss the trip to the orphanage. I counted on the power of prayer and decided I would make another attempt at getting up. I was immediately able to get out of bed, shower and travel with the group.
"What do you want me to do for you?" Jesus asked him. The blind man said, "Rabbi, I want to see." "go" said Jesus, "your faith has healed you." Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road. Mark 10:51-52
We met some of the greatest kids, made some great connections and saw a community that pulls together. We met women whose life story was told in their faces, their hands, and their feet. I will detail our journey throughout the week.
On Friday, we were scheduled to visit an orphanage. Unfortunately, I woke up with a throbbing headache that had pursued me all week. My roomates were already up and stirring around preparing for breakfast. I was still lying down as each time I tried to raise my head, it throbbed with no relief.
Everyone had left the room and my sister in Christ and friend Nancy Serrett walked back into the room, sat at my bedside and asked "Can I do anything for you?" I responded "Just pray for me." Those were all the words she needed to hear. Nancy opened her mouth and out flowed a prayer that with each word, felt like a renewing and re-energizing.
I wanted my headache to go away and new there was no doubt it would. I didn't want it to hurt because I really did not want to miss the trip to the orphanage. I counted on the power of prayer and decided I would make another attempt at getting up. I was immediately able to get out of bed, shower and travel with the group.
"What do you want me to do for you?" Jesus asked him. The blind man said, "Rabbi, I want to see." "go" said Jesus, "your faith has healed you." Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road. Mark 10:51-52
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Because I said so
How many times in our lifetime have we made that statement? As parents, how many times have we told our children "do it" and when they ask why our response is "because I said so."
What if everytime God told us to do something and we asked "why" his response was "because I said so?" No explaination, no instruction just "because I said." I would venture to guess that is why people don't ask. It would be much easier not to do what God requires than to ask why we should and have God say "just do it."
God doesn't waste His time telling us why...He just asks us to do it. That's called obedience "Because He said so." In life there are things we just may not want to do, like give up a vice, forgive a grievance, or actually attend church. We find all kinds of excuses. We want to know what the benefit is for us first, then we can decide whether we want to do it or not.
Can you imagine how much easier life would be if we willingly submitted to God rather than to ask "Why?" Perhaps you're on a job search and you are at your wits end ready to give up and you felt God was telling you to apply at one of the most lucritive organizations in the city. You are exhausted, have gone for months submitting resumes, calling people, wasting gas [at almost 4.00 a gallon] and frankly you just don't feel like it. You don't want to hear "do it because I said so." The reason we don't want to hear that is because we are relying on our past, our record, our attempts not God's power.
There is a different take on that statement in Luke 5 where Jesus goes by the water and sees fisherman washing their nets after a morning of fishing to no avail. Jesus gets in Simon's boat and tells him to go out into the water and put out their nets. Simon's response is " Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything. But because you say so I will let down the nets."
What if instead of asking God "why" we responded with "I will do it because you say so." What blessing are we depriving ourselves of when we are not obedient? What message do we deliver when we say "nope, I've tried and tried and got nowhere so I'm done."
What if Simon had said "no...we've cleaned our nets, we're tired, we're going home." He would have missed out on God's overwhelming gift. Many of us have relied on someone else to spread the word of God to our friends, co-workers, family. God's goodness does not only extend to our personal life, we were made to reach others. Regardless of how many times you have tried...regardless of how bleak the situation may look, it's time to cast your net and let God do the rest.
Do it "because he said so."
When He had finished speaking He said to Simon "Put into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch." Simon answered "Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything." But because you say so, I will let down the nets." When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full, they began to sink. Luke 5:4-7
What if everytime God told us to do something and we asked "why" his response was "because I said so?" No explaination, no instruction just "because I said." I would venture to guess that is why people don't ask. It would be much easier not to do what God requires than to ask why we should and have God say "just do it."
God doesn't waste His time telling us why...He just asks us to do it. That's called obedience "Because He said so." In life there are things we just may not want to do, like give up a vice, forgive a grievance, or actually attend church. We find all kinds of excuses. We want to know what the benefit is for us first, then we can decide whether we want to do it or not.
Can you imagine how much easier life would be if we willingly submitted to God rather than to ask "Why?" Perhaps you're on a job search and you are at your wits end ready to give up and you felt God was telling you to apply at one of the most lucritive organizations in the city. You are exhausted, have gone for months submitting resumes, calling people, wasting gas [at almost 4.00 a gallon] and frankly you just don't feel like it. You don't want to hear "do it because I said so." The reason we don't want to hear that is because we are relying on our past, our record, our attempts not God's power.
There is a different take on that statement in Luke 5 where Jesus goes by the water and sees fisherman washing their nets after a morning of fishing to no avail. Jesus gets in Simon's boat and tells him to go out into the water and put out their nets. Simon's response is " Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything. But because you say so I will let down the nets."
What if instead of asking God "why" we responded with "I will do it because you say so." What blessing are we depriving ourselves of when we are not obedient? What message do we deliver when we say "nope, I've tried and tried and got nowhere so I'm done."
What if Simon had said "no...we've cleaned our nets, we're tired, we're going home." He would have missed out on God's overwhelming gift. Many of us have relied on someone else to spread the word of God to our friends, co-workers, family. God's goodness does not only extend to our personal life, we were made to reach others. Regardless of how many times you have tried...regardless of how bleak the situation may look, it's time to cast your net and let God do the rest.
Do it "because he said so."
When He had finished speaking He said to Simon "Put into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch." Simon answered "Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything." But because you say so, I will let down the nets." When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full, they began to sink. Luke 5:4-7
Thursday, March 15, 2012
I will follow you
I wake up this morning and do a wonderful devotion. I am preparing for a mission trip and reviewing my to do list. My son and I head out to the mall in search of a new piece of luggage to carry some things.
In the midst of the drive, we have a discussion about rules and expectations and he comments about his privacy and the fact that he is almost eighteen. The discussion leads to the basic question "will you still monitor my social networks when I am in college?" I simply replied "Son, we are not promised tomorrow...I will worry about that when the day comes."
I quickly discovered how true my words were as I received a call advising me that a dear friend had lost his life. He was not just any friend, he was my dear friend. A protector, a guide, a confidant. He was a fellow officer that worked with me in a dark, out of control world. A friend that knew my ins and outs. A true, loyal friend that would fight to the death in order to protect his own.
He was a man that loved his wife and adored his children. He lived a life of love and truth and he honored the uniform he wore. We went through many doors together and came through many trials. We spent many endless hours just "waiting" for something to happen and when it did, he was at the heart of it. He was an honorable man...a man I loved and respected.
As I heard the news, I grieved. He was not killed as one would expect in the world of law enforcement, he was killed in a tragic accident. He is the second of that squad that I have lost. The first was my dear friend Vonda Higgins.
My heart is heavy as I realize that in all probability I will miss his funeral. I grieve some more and am burdened that I can not change that. If I had only one more chance to say something...what would I say? "I respect you, you were the best we had, you are a dear friend?" If I had one more chance, I would probably say thank you for giving your all to a place you served with a passion, thank you for all the endless hours, thank you for being an example, a loving husband, a gracious friend and a loyal man.
As I dwell on missing the funeral I go back to Matthew 8. The title of the middle of that chapter is "The Cost of Following Jesus." Jesus calls for followers and one says "Lord, first let me go and bury my father." [v21]
I must go and do the will of God and share the news of Jesus to others. Difficult as it may be, I know he would want it that way. I know where my friend is and I rejoice in the fact that I will see him once again.
When Jesus saw the crowd around him, he gave orders to cross to the other side of the lake. Then a teacher of the law came to him and said "Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go." Another disciple said to him, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father." But Jesus told him, "Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead." Matthew 8: 18-19; 21-22
In Memory of William Nicholas Tomlinson
In the midst of the drive, we have a discussion about rules and expectations and he comments about his privacy and the fact that he is almost eighteen. The discussion leads to the basic question "will you still monitor my social networks when I am in college?" I simply replied "Son, we are not promised tomorrow...I will worry about that when the day comes."
I quickly discovered how true my words were as I received a call advising me that a dear friend had lost his life. He was not just any friend, he was my dear friend. A protector, a guide, a confidant. He was a fellow officer that worked with me in a dark, out of control world. A friend that knew my ins and outs. A true, loyal friend that would fight to the death in order to protect his own.
He was a man that loved his wife and adored his children. He lived a life of love and truth and he honored the uniform he wore. We went through many doors together and came through many trials. We spent many endless hours just "waiting" for something to happen and when it did, he was at the heart of it. He was an honorable man...a man I loved and respected.
As I heard the news, I grieved. He was not killed as one would expect in the world of law enforcement, he was killed in a tragic accident. He is the second of that squad that I have lost. The first was my dear friend Vonda Higgins.
My heart is heavy as I realize that in all probability I will miss his funeral. I grieve some more and am burdened that I can not change that. If I had only one more chance to say something...what would I say? "I respect you, you were the best we had, you are a dear friend?" If I had one more chance, I would probably say thank you for giving your all to a place you served with a passion, thank you for all the endless hours, thank you for being an example, a loving husband, a gracious friend and a loyal man.
As I dwell on missing the funeral I go back to Matthew 8. The title of the middle of that chapter is "The Cost of Following Jesus." Jesus calls for followers and one says "Lord, first let me go and bury my father." [v21]
I must go and do the will of God and share the news of Jesus to others. Difficult as it may be, I know he would want it that way. I know where my friend is and I rejoice in the fact that I will see him once again.
When Jesus saw the crowd around him, he gave orders to cross to the other side of the lake. Then a teacher of the law came to him and said "Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go." Another disciple said to him, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father." But Jesus told him, "Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead." Matthew 8: 18-19; 21-22
In Memory of William Nicholas Tomlinson
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Solitary Confinement
Well, I did it. I tackled taking four teenage boys out of town for Spring Break. WOW! First let me say that teenagers have no concept of time except that after a 30 minute drive, it's too long so a four hour drive was torture.
Second, I must say that I envy the days when I had a four year old little boy tugging at my pant leg. The mommy, mommy, mommy did not last long enough. Now, this teenager can't get away fast enough. We had a great time the first night and I could hear them "having fun" into the night from my room next door. Thank goodness for corner rooms. They must have stayed up into the early morning as did I.
The next day, we had an amusement park day planned and after four hours- they were done. After a short nap, we again ran all day into the evening but this time, they had no energy to stay up too late.
What I absolutely loved was their laughter, their commitment to each other, their horseplay, their friendship. Noise. That's what it was...noise. At the end of the day, they laid down and silently went to sleep. Quiet. There were no more sounds, no more laughter, no more television or quoting stats. It was quiet.
It was then that I picked up my Bible and read. It was quiet, it was peaceful and it was comforting to know everyone was safe. They had gone all day. Jesus even told the disciples to "get away" to rest. "So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place." [Mark 6:30-32].
Sometimes, we just need to get away. Not from the city or the state but from the everyday noise. Get away and find your place of solitude, then have that conversation with God. You don't have to leave your spouse or your kids or your job....just find that "alone" place.
That is where I re-group, meet with God, find my peace. So at the end of the day, or at the very beginning, go to that place...by yourself and meet with God. Even Jesus did.
Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. Mark 1:35
Second, I must say that I envy the days when I had a four year old little boy tugging at my pant leg. The mommy, mommy, mommy did not last long enough. Now, this teenager can't get away fast enough. We had a great time the first night and I could hear them "having fun" into the night from my room next door. Thank goodness for corner rooms. They must have stayed up into the early morning as did I.
The next day, we had an amusement park day planned and after four hours- they were done. After a short nap, we again ran all day into the evening but this time, they had no energy to stay up too late.
What I absolutely loved was their laughter, their commitment to each other, their horseplay, their friendship. Noise. That's what it was...noise. At the end of the day, they laid down and silently went to sleep. Quiet. There were no more sounds, no more laughter, no more television or quoting stats. It was quiet.
It was then that I picked up my Bible and read. It was quiet, it was peaceful and it was comforting to know everyone was safe. They had gone all day. Jesus even told the disciples to "get away" to rest. "So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place." [Mark 6:30-32].
Sometimes, we just need to get away. Not from the city or the state but from the everyday noise. Get away and find your place of solitude, then have that conversation with God. You don't have to leave your spouse or your kids or your job....just find that "alone" place.
That is where I re-group, meet with God, find my peace. So at the end of the day, or at the very beginning, go to that place...by yourself and meet with God. Even Jesus did.
Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. Mark 1:35
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Out of the darkness
It's that time again. Time to move your clock one hour ahead. How I dislike my routine being disturbed. I do not like staying out late therefore the one extra hour of light does not benefit me. It takes me three months to get used to the change and by then, it's time for another change.
From my point of view, the change makes people late to church, it makes for tired individuals since they lose that hour and it just means one more hour of work...somewhere. I would rather see it get dark early so I can retreat to my home and relax. I can't do anything in the dark, can't weed my garden, can't plant flowers, can't water the grass so it will grow. I'm perfectly fine with that. Just as long as it gets dark early! Unfortunately, try as I may, I can not change that and I must give up my precious hour....for now. There are however benefits to not being in the dark.
God sent his Son so we would no longer be in the dark. We are not effective for Christ if we are in the dark. We can't plant the seed, can't water, can't reap the harvest. God has called us out of darkness into the light. Although I like it getting darker earlier, it's not about me so I may as well get used to it and move ahead. Out of the darkness.
Then Jesus cried out, "When a man believes in me, he does not believe in me only, but in the one who sent me.i have come into the world as a light so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness. John 12:44-46
From my point of view, the change makes people late to church, it makes for tired individuals since they lose that hour and it just means one more hour of work...somewhere. I would rather see it get dark early so I can retreat to my home and relax. I can't do anything in the dark, can't weed my garden, can't plant flowers, can't water the grass so it will grow. I'm perfectly fine with that. Just as long as it gets dark early! Unfortunately, try as I may, I can not change that and I must give up my precious hour....for now. There are however benefits to not being in the dark.
God sent his Son so we would no longer be in the dark. We are not effective for Christ if we are in the dark. We can't plant the seed, can't water, can't reap the harvest. God has called us out of darkness into the light. Although I like it getting darker earlier, it's not about me so I may as well get used to it and move ahead. Out of the darkness.
Then Jesus cried out, "When a man believes in me, he does not believe in me only, but in the one who sent me.i have come into the world as a light so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness. John 12:44-46
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Return the same route
I was going throuth some pictures the other day when I came across one from San Diego. My husband and I had gone to Point Loma and we had the most beautiful mountain view of the Pacific Ocean on one side and San Diego Bay on the other.
We could see air craft carriers, sail boats and beautiful, beautiful scenery. After spending time taking in the view, we decided to make the two mile hike to the bottom. It was a trying walk even for me. The path was rocky, there were holes in the road, quick slopes and slippery patches. The road curved and if you gained speed going downhill, you stood a chance of going off the road and temporararily off the side of the mountain.
The view was worth it. There were points of broken road with caution cones but the view was worth it, it was long and winding but the view was worth it. What started off as a neat little trek became a bit of a concern when the road went from wide enough for four to only room for two, but the view was worth it. As worth it as it was, you could not get distracted by the view as there were others on the journey and you would risk danger.
We finally made it to the bottom. You know what we found once we got there? Besides the wonderful scenery we saw a sign that read "End of Trail Return Same Route." When I read it, I inadvertently read "End of TRIAL" and thought..."Why in the world would anyone want to take the same route to a trial they just came out of?
Sometimes God allows us to go through trials that may not be easy, they certainly aren't fun, the "trial" roads can be slippery, broken, slim but through it all, God will sustain us and you know what? If God takes us back through the same road, He will not leave us.
The adventure of a trial, difficult as some may be, has to be better than the monotony of a trail. One calls you to walk a path that has been marked by many others, the other calls you to walk a path completely relying on God's guidance and faith. We may be called to "Return the same route" but we can do it with the belief that God Almighty is in control.
In the end, it is worth the view. We got to the bottom, took our picture and looked to the top of the mountain. Getting out had to be better. We made it to the top and you guessed it, we were back at the place where the view was worth the journey.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew, he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:28-30
We could see air craft carriers, sail boats and beautiful, beautiful scenery. After spending time taking in the view, we decided to make the two mile hike to the bottom. It was a trying walk even for me. The path was rocky, there were holes in the road, quick slopes and slippery patches. The road curved and if you gained speed going downhill, you stood a chance of going off the road and temporararily off the side of the mountain.
The view was worth it. There were points of broken road with caution cones but the view was worth it, it was long and winding but the view was worth it. What started off as a neat little trek became a bit of a concern when the road went from wide enough for four to only room for two, but the view was worth it. As worth it as it was, you could not get distracted by the view as there were others on the journey and you would risk danger.
We finally made it to the bottom. You know what we found once we got there? Besides the wonderful scenery we saw a sign that read "End of Trail Return Same Route." When I read it, I inadvertently read "End of TRIAL" and thought..."Why in the world would anyone want to take the same route to a trial they just came out of?
Sometimes God allows us to go through trials that may not be easy, they certainly aren't fun, the "trial" roads can be slippery, broken, slim but through it all, God will sustain us and you know what? If God takes us back through the same road, He will not leave us.
The adventure of a trial, difficult as some may be, has to be better than the monotony of a trail. One calls you to walk a path that has been marked by many others, the other calls you to walk a path completely relying on God's guidance and faith. We may be called to "Return the same route" but we can do it with the belief that God Almighty is in control.
In the end, it is worth the view. We got to the bottom, took our picture and looked to the top of the mountain. Getting out had to be better. We made it to the top and you guessed it, we were back at the place where the view was worth the journey.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew, he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:28-30
Friday, March 9, 2012
I want to see clearly
"I can see clearly now the rain is gone, I can see all obstacles in my way. Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind..."
Johnny Nash sang that song many years ago. I still remember. We are driving in a beating rain and it is so difficult to see clearly. The roads are slick, and it is no time to be distracted. We drive back from Fredericksburg again, interested in another piece of property wondering about "the one that got away."
I say to my husband "but it was perfect." and he says "God must see something we can't see." I agree and just "want the rain to stop" so I can see clearly. One thing is certain,that is not the property God has for us. We come up with all sorts of ideas like maybe it floods, maybe there is an unseen issue, maybe there will be issues with the well or electricity. Who knows...if only the rain would ease up.
We continue to drive when we see it...a firetruck coming the wrong way on an exit ramp with his lights on. We assume someone has had an accident. We go a little further and see it. A pick up truck has lost control in the rain and hit a guardrail. He would have hit the cement
pillars except for the barrels filled with sand stopped it. (driver shaken up but fine)
I tell my husband that is much like our situation with the property. God has said no to that location...we can't see why but if we insist on making it happen our way, we could end up like the fella in the truck.
Leave it alone, drive through the rain, you may not be able to see God's plan but stand firm believing that one day, you will see clearly...when the rain is gone.
"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
Johnny Nash sang that song many years ago. I still remember. We are driving in a beating rain and it is so difficult to see clearly. The roads are slick, and it is no time to be distracted. We drive back from Fredericksburg again, interested in another piece of property wondering about "the one that got away."
I say to my husband "but it was perfect." and he says "God must see something we can't see." I agree and just "want the rain to stop" so I can see clearly. One thing is certain,that is not the property God has for us. We come up with all sorts of ideas like maybe it floods, maybe there is an unseen issue, maybe there will be issues with the well or electricity. Who knows...if only the rain would ease up.
We continue to drive when we see it...a firetruck coming the wrong way on an exit ramp with his lights on. We assume someone has had an accident. We go a little further and see it. A pick up truck has lost control in the rain and hit a guardrail. He would have hit the cement
pillars except for the barrels filled with sand stopped it. (driver shaken up but fine)
I tell my husband that is much like our situation with the property. God has said no to that location...we can't see why but if we insist on making it happen our way, we could end up like the fella in the truck.
Leave it alone, drive through the rain, you may not be able to see God's plan but stand firm believing that one day, you will see clearly...when the rain is gone.
"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Teach away...
Today was my day to teach. I am very blessed to be in the company of some very gifted ladies and some of the best teachers in our church. It is an honor to be in such company. I am a member of the Designer Woman Bible Study Class headed up by Mrs. Dottie Charbineux.
We have had many wonderful speakers that have mesmerized me. I am not a teacher by profession but I do have a passion for speaking and I had a tough subject. For His Eyes Only, the title of the presentation tells it all.
Now that it is behind me, I can look back and say "God was all over that!" having been in law enforcement for 30 years, I have never had a difficult time telling people what to do. I've extended counsel, advice and sympathy. I've enforced laws, stopped traffic with the wave of a hand, and taken control with the blow of a whistle. I don't believe it was the whistle, a wave of a hand or anything about me.
I belive it was the uniform I was wearing. A uniform that exudes power and authority. You can look at the shiny gold on my uniform and it will tell you alot but it will not reveal my heart. I love that position, I love that organization, I wear that uniform with honor.
I represent something else now. I represent a Savior that gave His life for me. What does that look like? What do I put on to represent Christ? Do my clothes say "I honor God." I can tell you it is much easier to take someone's freedom than to try to tell a woman what they should wear. I don't pretend to be able to do that.
As women, we are attached to our clothes, our style and our statements. That's why I know "God was all over that" because I was merely the instrument he used to deliver what is in His Word. We can not fail if we follow the guidelines He has left us in His Word.
I can only say thank you ladies for a kind reception. I pray that God will also make me that designer woman that represents Him with honor and I pray that my clothing reflects my love for Christ.
D-Destined
E-Empowered
S-Singled Out
I-Important
G-God's Daughter
N-new Heart
E-Enabled
R-Ready
(c) 2012, Barfield-Designer Woman
Strength and honor shall be her clothing and she shall rejoice in days to come. Proverbs 31:25
We have had many wonderful speakers that have mesmerized me. I am not a teacher by profession but I do have a passion for speaking and I had a tough subject. For His Eyes Only, the title of the presentation tells it all.
Now that it is behind me, I can look back and say "God was all over that!" having been in law enforcement for 30 years, I have never had a difficult time telling people what to do. I've extended counsel, advice and sympathy. I've enforced laws, stopped traffic with the wave of a hand, and taken control with the blow of a whistle. I don't believe it was the whistle, a wave of a hand or anything about me.
I belive it was the uniform I was wearing. A uniform that exudes power and authority. You can look at the shiny gold on my uniform and it will tell you alot but it will not reveal my heart. I love that position, I love that organization, I wear that uniform with honor.
I represent something else now. I represent a Savior that gave His life for me. What does that look like? What do I put on to represent Christ? Do my clothes say "I honor God." I can tell you it is much easier to take someone's freedom than to try to tell a woman what they should wear. I don't pretend to be able to do that.
As women, we are attached to our clothes, our style and our statements. That's why I know "God was all over that" because I was merely the instrument he used to deliver what is in His Word. We can not fail if we follow the guidelines He has left us in His Word.
I can only say thank you ladies for a kind reception. I pray that God will also make me that designer woman that represents Him with honor and I pray that my clothing reflects my love for Christ.
D-Destined
E-Empowered
S-Singled Out
I-Important
G-God's Daughter
N-new Heart
E-Enabled
R-Ready
(c) 2012, Barfield-Designer Woman
Strength and honor shall be her clothing and she shall rejoice in days to come. Proverbs 31:25
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Safe and secure
I was having lunch with a friend last week and we got to talking about feeling secure. She told me that she recently realized that her security system which was installed a couple of years ago was inactivated. The problem was she did not become aware of it until recently.
She stated that all these months she has gone to sleep feeling secure in her alarm and security system with no concerns of anyone tampering with her home. Rest came easy at night as her faith in her alarm system was sure. She had nothing to fear.
You see, she switched to another internet provider and that switch affected her phone line inadvertently disabling her alarm. What a surprise to discover that all these months there was no alarm. There would be no alert of an intruder, no warning of danger, no notification of a threat and yet she slept safe and secure.
There is an old hymn that goes:
Leaning, Leaning safe and secure from all alarms
Leaning, Leaning, leaning on the everlasting arms.
Our security is not in an alarm system, it is in the everlasting arms of our Savior. I too am fanatical about activating my alarm system, bringing in my "guard dog" and taking other precautions to "ensure my safety" but I realize and acknowledge that my security is in the arms of Christ. His watchful eye remains on me and my household. How much more safe and secure can one get?
When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. Psalms 56:3-4
She stated that all these months she has gone to sleep feeling secure in her alarm and security system with no concerns of anyone tampering with her home. Rest came easy at night as her faith in her alarm system was sure. She had nothing to fear.
You see, she switched to another internet provider and that switch affected her phone line inadvertently disabling her alarm. What a surprise to discover that all these months there was no alarm. There would be no alert of an intruder, no warning of danger, no notification of a threat and yet she slept safe and secure.
There is an old hymn that goes:
Leaning, Leaning safe and secure from all alarms
Leaning, Leaning, leaning on the everlasting arms.
Our security is not in an alarm system, it is in the everlasting arms of our Savior. I too am fanatical about activating my alarm system, bringing in my "guard dog" and taking other precautions to "ensure my safety" but I realize and acknowledge that my security is in the arms of Christ. His watchful eye remains on me and my household. How much more safe and secure can one get?
When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. Psalms 56:3-4
Monday, March 5, 2012
Marriage....easy?
As I was looking through some material, I located a poem I wrote in 2011. I had probably forgotten about it as writing is one of my passions and I tend to "store" alot of it and then forget it. As we see the divorce rate climb, including in Christian homes, I found this interesting. No one has ever said that marriage would be easy yet my in-laws were married for 64 years. My parents have been married 56 years. They were both married during the hardest of times.
Today, our lives seem to take different directions, communication exists through technology and time...well if there is any left, is minimal. Marriage is not easy but it is a sure failure if there is no commitment to making it work. Regardless of the issue, God calls us to a higher standard. We are a society that wants expediency and convienence. Sometimes, marriage offers neither. However, what it does offer is promise. God's promise.
I must say that I wrote this poem in my car having just left the bookstore. I did not purchase or read the book it is referencing...I got distracted with writing.
Marriage Isn't Easy
I saw a book today
It really caught my eye
I thought that I would read it,
Although I can't say why.
Marriage Isn't Always Easy
is how the title read.
I wanted to forget it
And put it back instead.
I don't need you to tell me
That marriage can be tough;
I don't need another book,
I truly have enough.
This is not an option,
God says He "hates divorce"
He seeks your faithfulness,
And we must stay the course.
God does not take this lightly
Marriage is for life,
And it will last forever
When a man takes a wife.
No, marriage isn't easy
But God will see you through,
So keep the faith and run your race
And He will honor you.
(C) 2011 Barfield, All Rights reserved
God Knows Marriage Isn't Always Easy
Maureen Rogers Law and Lanny Law
Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are His. And why one? Because he was seeking Godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. I have divorce says the Lord God of Israel. Malachi 2:15-16
Today, our lives seem to take different directions, communication exists through technology and time...well if there is any left, is minimal. Marriage is not easy but it is a sure failure if there is no commitment to making it work. Regardless of the issue, God calls us to a higher standard. We are a society that wants expediency and convienence. Sometimes, marriage offers neither. However, what it does offer is promise. God's promise.
I must say that I wrote this poem in my car having just left the bookstore. I did not purchase or read the book it is referencing...I got distracted with writing.
Marriage Isn't Easy
I saw a book today
It really caught my eye
I thought that I would read it,
Although I can't say why.
Marriage Isn't Always Easy
is how the title read.
I wanted to forget it
And put it back instead.
I don't need you to tell me
That marriage can be tough;
I don't need another book,
I truly have enough.
This is not an option,
God says He "hates divorce"
He seeks your faithfulness,
And we must stay the course.
God does not take this lightly
Marriage is for life,
And it will last forever
When a man takes a wife.
No, marriage isn't easy
But God will see you through,
So keep the faith and run your race
And He will honor you.
(C) 2011 Barfield, All Rights reserved
God Knows Marriage Isn't Always Easy
Maureen Rogers Law and Lanny Law
Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are His. And why one? Because he was seeking Godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. I have divorce says the Lord God of Israel. Malachi 2:15-16
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Keep Singing
I often get my car washed at a local carwash. Instead of the high dollar pampering wash, I usually run it through the express which is the same carwash with less human attention.
At this particular wash-which I might add is excellent-I normally sitback and soak in the music or read some material and just let the wash take it's course. The very first time I was there, the guide cautioned against leaving the antenna on since the force of the water and cleaning aparatus could damage it.
Well, I'm not going to get out of my car just to remove the antenna so I leave it on...everytime. And everytime, I say "Please don't break. Stay intact just one more time." To this day it has and in looking back, I don't ever remember saying "Yay. Thank you for not breaking."
Every time, it's "please...just one more time" knowing that there will be another and another and another. Why do we do that? Wouldn't it be much easier to just remove it and take away all doubt, apprehension and concern?
I began this story three weeks ago and never finished it...today I know why. I woke up this morning with a heavy heart. Don't really know why except that I am teaching a pretty strong message and the enemy is trying to distract me. I walked out to my car with my wimpy spirit and guess what- my beautiful black vehicle that I just washed yesterday is covered with a yellow dust. Ugh! What more to dampen my spirit.
What more? I head out and then I was advised that a friend passed away this morning. "No More!" I cry out. "No More." I go wash my car and on my way I hear a song by Mercy Me.
Another rainy day, I can't recall having sunshine on my face
And all I feel is pain and all I want to do is walk out of this place
But when I am stuck and I can't move when I don't know what I should do
When I wonder if I'll ever make it through
I gotta keep singing, I gotta keep praising your name
Your're the only one that keeps my heart beating
I gotta keep singing, I gotta keep praising your name
That's the only way that I'll find healing
Can I climb upon your lap-Jesus sing over me........
I gotta keep singing
I drive up to the car wash but this time they remove my antenna and the attendant hands it to me as he sees my weepy eyes. He solemnly says "have a nice day." I examine the antenna and see that it is beaten and worn. The paint is chipped in places from all the pressure of the cleanings. As I look closer through tears, I see that the antenna is bent but it has not broken.
It has suffered many tests and trials and survived them all. We too will suffer trials. We will bend but we don't have to break. Just keep on singing, keep praising his name, climb upon his lap. I drove home and when I had heard the song enough; when I had prayed; when I felt God's peace come over me....I walked out and placed my antenna back in it's rightful place. It has survived the test of time. It may bend, but it didn't break and through it all, I will keep singing.
"I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble but take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33
At this particular wash-which I might add is excellent-I normally sitback and soak in the music or read some material and just let the wash take it's course. The very first time I was there, the guide cautioned against leaving the antenna on since the force of the water and cleaning aparatus could damage it.
Well, I'm not going to get out of my car just to remove the antenna so I leave it on...everytime. And everytime, I say "Please don't break. Stay intact just one more time." To this day it has and in looking back, I don't ever remember saying "Yay. Thank you for not breaking."
Every time, it's "please...just one more time" knowing that there will be another and another and another. Why do we do that? Wouldn't it be much easier to just remove it and take away all doubt, apprehension and concern?
I began this story three weeks ago and never finished it...today I know why. I woke up this morning with a heavy heart. Don't really know why except that I am teaching a pretty strong message and the enemy is trying to distract me. I walked out to my car with my wimpy spirit and guess what- my beautiful black vehicle that I just washed yesterday is covered with a yellow dust. Ugh! What more to dampen my spirit.
What more? I head out and then I was advised that a friend passed away this morning. "No More!" I cry out. "No More." I go wash my car and on my way I hear a song by Mercy Me.
Another rainy day, I can't recall having sunshine on my face
And all I feel is pain and all I want to do is walk out of this place
But when I am stuck and I can't move when I don't know what I should do
When I wonder if I'll ever make it through
I gotta keep singing, I gotta keep praising your name
Your're the only one that keeps my heart beating
I gotta keep singing, I gotta keep praising your name
That's the only way that I'll find healing
Can I climb upon your lap-Jesus sing over me........
I gotta keep singing
I drive up to the car wash but this time they remove my antenna and the attendant hands it to me as he sees my weepy eyes. He solemnly says "have a nice day." I examine the antenna and see that it is beaten and worn. The paint is chipped in places from all the pressure of the cleanings. As I look closer through tears, I see that the antenna is bent but it has not broken.
It has suffered many tests and trials and survived them all. We too will suffer trials. We will bend but we don't have to break. Just keep on singing, keep praising his name, climb upon his lap. I drove home and when I had heard the song enough; when I had prayed; when I felt God's peace come over me....I walked out and placed my antenna back in it's rightful place. It has survived the test of time. It may bend, but it didn't break and through it all, I will keep singing.
"I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble but take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33
Friday, March 2, 2012
But I didn't know
Yesterday as I mosied along getting ready for my bible study class, one of the morning shows had a story regarding women going through a hair straightening procedure called "Brazilian Blowout."
The story was that this expensive procedure performed at hair salons was deemed unsafe by the FDA due to the formula containing "dangerously high levels" of formaldehyde.
The morning show went undercover asking numerous questions to the point of irritating some salon owners. Their insistance was that either their product did not contain formaldehyde or if it did, the amount was so minimal that it could not cause harm.
I love one lady's quote when she was asked if the product contained formaldehyde, she stated "No-it does not!" When the investigation was revealed and the reporter identified, the question was asked of her "Why did you lie?" The salon owner replied..."I lied to you because they lied to me-if I lied to you it's because I didn't know."
There are many individuals that will try to sell you an idea. Whether it's to glorify themselves, their "religion" or something else. Some might refute the belief that Christ came, he died, and rose again. They might have their own ideas about worship or Christ being the Savior.
I am one that deals with truth. The word of God is truth. If someone tells me something contrary to what I believe, I go to the Word of God. I don't ever want to say "I lied to you because they lied to me..."
I don't ever want to find out that I was in error because I didn't know the scripture. That is where I go first so I won't have to say "but I didn't know!"
Jesus replied "You are in error because you did not know the scripture or the power of God. Matthew 22:29
The story was that this expensive procedure performed at hair salons was deemed unsafe by the FDA due to the formula containing "dangerously high levels" of formaldehyde.
The morning show went undercover asking numerous questions to the point of irritating some salon owners. Their insistance was that either their product did not contain formaldehyde or if it did, the amount was so minimal that it could not cause harm.
I love one lady's quote when she was asked if the product contained formaldehyde, she stated "No-it does not!" When the investigation was revealed and the reporter identified, the question was asked of her "Why did you lie?" The salon owner replied..."I lied to you because they lied to me-if I lied to you it's because I didn't know."
There are many individuals that will try to sell you an idea. Whether it's to glorify themselves, their "religion" or something else. Some might refute the belief that Christ came, he died, and rose again. They might have their own ideas about worship or Christ being the Savior.
I am one that deals with truth. The word of God is truth. If someone tells me something contrary to what I believe, I go to the Word of God. I don't ever want to say "I lied to you because they lied to me..."
I don't ever want to find out that I was in error because I didn't know the scripture. That is where I go first so I won't have to say "but I didn't know!"
Jesus replied "You are in error because you did not know the scripture or the power of God. Matthew 22:29
Thursday, March 1, 2012
He's lost
Several years ago, our high school class was planning a high school reunion. There was difficulty in locating some of our classmates. We had a fairly large class and some were more difficult to locate than others. The letter was divided into a couple sections.
One of those pages included names of several individuals and was simply titled "LOST." I thumbed through the names and located a name that I was very familiar with. It was the name of a friend that grew up in our neighborhood, so I had known him for years.
He was a friend whose mother was a Godly, faithful woman, with a heart for missions. Her prayer as a single mother was for her boys to come to Christ. She attended my childhood church for years and I would occassionally see her son there. He was a friend that helped carry me through Math class, a friend that served as a "lookout" to us girls in the neighborhood and yet he was on a list titled "LOST."
When I saw the letter, I remember thinking "He's not lost, I know exactly where to find him." Then it hit me...he is not living a life of Christ, he is not attending church, and whether or not he has accepted Christ as his personal Savior is unknown." Lost, what a concept. Lost-not having direction, not having assurance of eternal life, not having Christ in your life.
I saw him once again recently at his mother's funeral. The years of bad choices have taken their toll. He lived with his mother and now she has gone on to eternal glory. My prayer is that he will one day find that he has a Savior. He is not lost, God gave us the precious gift of His Son so that none of us would ever be lost.
Jesus said to him, "Today salvation has come to this house, because this man too is a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save what was lost." Luke 19:10
One of those pages included names of several individuals and was simply titled "LOST." I thumbed through the names and located a name that I was very familiar with. It was the name of a friend that grew up in our neighborhood, so I had known him for years.
He was a friend whose mother was a Godly, faithful woman, with a heart for missions. Her prayer as a single mother was for her boys to come to Christ. She attended my childhood church for years and I would occassionally see her son there. He was a friend that helped carry me through Math class, a friend that served as a "lookout" to us girls in the neighborhood and yet he was on a list titled "LOST."
When I saw the letter, I remember thinking "He's not lost, I know exactly where to find him." Then it hit me...he is not living a life of Christ, he is not attending church, and whether or not he has accepted Christ as his personal Savior is unknown." Lost, what a concept. Lost-not having direction, not having assurance of eternal life, not having Christ in your life.
I saw him once again recently at his mother's funeral. The years of bad choices have taken their toll. He lived with his mother and now she has gone on to eternal glory. My prayer is that he will one day find that he has a Savior. He is not lost, God gave us the precious gift of His Son so that none of us would ever be lost.
Jesus said to him, "Today salvation has come to this house, because this man too is a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save what was lost." Luke 19:10
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