For years I dreaded this day. I dreaded Mother's day more than anything else and the reason for it was in purchasing a card. Ugh. I hated going to buy a card.
Of course I buy birthday cards, anniversary, graduation, father's day, new baby and all sorts of cards. I just didn't like buying Mother's Day cards. For the longest time I had a very volitile relationship with my mother. Resentment, bitterness, anger and holding on to memories that were not pleasant would limit me to the card I purchased.
You see, the Mother's Day cards I looked for were usually generic such as "Have a nice day" or "A day to celebrate Mothers-that's you." They were never heartfelt cards. I would go to the store, stand for what seemed like hours looking through cards I just couldn't buy. They did not reflect what I wanted to say....which was nothing!
We weren't best friends, I didn't [nor did I care to] share secrets, I didn't want to remember anything about my childhood. Alot of the cards said "I love you" and any card that said that was automatically disqualified for purchase. I had it tough!
Last year, God impressed upon me to teach a Ladies Bible Study Class called Total Forgiveness. It is a book written by R.T. Kendall and a dear friend gave it to me when I was struggling with forgiving a friend. As I proceeded through the study, I told the ladies of my story with Mom and challenged them to act in a forgiving way in their situation.
They quickly held me accountable for forgiving my mom....what? Really? I found that the lesson in forgiveness was not for the ladies in the class, it was for me. Through the study and with their accountability, I was able to go to my mom, discuss some things with her and come to complete forgiveness and restoration.
I can tell you that the years of resentment and bitterness washed away like I never knew possible. It did not happen overnight [this was a six week class], but I stood open to the idea that this might work if I sat with her and explained how I felt. God did an amazing work. So amazing that when I tried to "go back" to her criticism of the past, I couldn't think of any!
This mother's day was the first time in my adult life that I actually looked for a card with enthusiasm. I began looking when they first came out until I found just the right one to tell my mother how much I appreciate all she has done and how much I love her.
In looking at some of the cards I received today, my heart is filled with joy. From my sisters, nieces and yes even my son the comedian. His card came with a disclaimer from Hallmark "Please don't share this card with my friends." Yes...it was that funny and would embarass him if his friends saw it. That is love!
I am grateful to God for restoring a mother/daughter relationship that was so damaged I thought there was no reconciliation possible. For other daughters in this situation I say "You may have given up on your mom but don't give up on God."
It is my priviledge to have been chosen by God to carry the honor of being a mom. Despite the past, I had the best mother there was. One who would stand by her children and protect them with everything she had. I am grateful to God that he allowed me this second chance to rebuild a relationship so damaged. I look forward to finding many more cards in the coming years.
May your father and mother be glad; and may she who gave you birth rejoice. Proverbs 23:25
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